Our Only Hope

How serious is sin? How serious is your sin?

How would you answer that question? Would you describe the impact of your sin on those you love – your family, your friends, your neighbors? Or would you focus on the impact of sin on yourself – destroying what you love most, changing you into something you hate?

Sin does hurt others. Sin does destroy us.

But so often we fail to consider the greatest impact of our sin: The affront against a holy and loving God.

John Bunyan’s The Holy War highlights this truth in startling terms. In this allegory, the town of Mansoul rebels against its King Shaddai and makes Diabolus its ruler. King Shaddai sends his armies, led by Captain Conviction and Captain Judgment, to battle against the town. They eventually call for more assistance, so the King sends His Son, Emmanuel. Emmanuel offers them mercy, but, spurred on by Diabolus, Mansoul continues to resist. So Emmanuel’s forces break down the gates, conquer the town, throw out Diabolus, and execute a number of his commanders.

At this point, frightened of impending judgment and seeing the foolishness of their past actions, the town sends a petition to Emmanuel asking for mercy. What does Emmanuel do?

Bunyan’s picture of Emmanuel’s response is almost shocking to our contemporary ears. He initially does nothing, sending the messengers back. They send petition after petition. Finally, Emmanuel speaks to the messenger:

The town of Mansoul hath grievously rebelled against my Father, in that they have rejected him from being their King, and did choose to themselves for their captain a liar, a murderer, and a runagate slave. For this Diabolus, your pretended prince, though once so highly accounted of by you, made rebellion against my Father and me, even in our palace and highest court there, thinking to become a prince and king. But being there timely discovered and apprehended, and for his wickedness bound in chains, and separated to the pit with those that were his companions, he offered himself to you, and you have received him.

Now this is, and for a long time hath been, a high affront to my Father; wherefore my Father sent to you a powerful army to reduce you to your obedience. But you know how these men, their captains and their counsels, were esteemed of you, and what they received at your hand. You rebelled against them, you shut your gates upon them, you bid them battle, you fought them, and fought for Diabolus against them. So they sent to my Father for more power, and I, with my men, are come to subdue you. But as you treated the servants, so you treated their Lord. You stood up in hostile manner against me, you shut up your gates against me, you turned the deaf ear to me, and resisted as long as you could; but now I have made a conquest of you. Did you cry me mercy so long as you had hopes that you might prevail against me? But now that I have taken the town, you cry; but why did you not cry before, when the white flag of my mercy, the red flag of justice, and the black flag that threatened execution, were set up to cite you to it? Now I have conquered your Diabolus, you come to me for favour; but why did you not help me against the mighty?

Many of us today picture God as sitting in the heavens, desperately hoping that we might turn to Him. When we make the least step towards regret for past sins, we then think God is overwhelmed with joy.

But God desires much more than regret for past actions. Remember Esau: As Hebrews 12:15-17 tells us, he regretted selling his birthright – he even wept over that – but God rejected him.

Bunyan rightly pictures Emmanuel opening the eyes of the petitioners to the depth of their sinfulness. The fundamental problem was not that Diabolus was a tyrant, though he was; the fundamental problem was not that the town failed to flourish under him, though it did. The fundamental problem was that the town spurned its rightful king and submitted to His enemy.

What can the petitioners say in response? Why did they not cry before? The only answer: They are desperate sinners, and have absolutely no basis on which to approach Emmanuel except his mercy.

Does Emmanuel offer any hope? He concludes His speech with these words:

Yet I will consider your petition, and will answer it so as will be for my glory.

That is the town’s only hope: That Emmanuel might be glorified through His mercy.

Just so with us. God saves us “to the praise of His glorious grace” (Ephesians 1:6).

My friends, regret does not save. Acknowledging the negative consequences of sin does not save. Wanting to live a better life, to be a better person, does not save.

We are rebels. We deserve execution. Our petition to the King we have so grievously offended can be based on nothing else except the mercy that He offers us by the blood of His Son, to the praise of His glorious grace. May He be pleased to grant such true repentance to you. And may He open our eyes to the extent of His majesty and holiness, so that we might comprehend the enormity of His grace.

(A free Kindle version of The Holy War is available at this link.)

 

Pioneering Movements: Leadership that Multiplies and Disciples Churches

I write this after spending the last week with an Asian church planting movement that has started thousands of churches in the last few years. The leaders of this movement are humble, with servant hearts; focused on filling thousands of villages with the glory of the Lord as the waters cover the sea; very conscious of their own inadequacies and limitations; supremely confident in the power of the Holy Spirit through prayer to overcome the forces of darkness; effectively organized for the raising up and training of apostolic church planters who will reproduce themselves; and have a track record of identifying unreached, unengaged people groups, then sending workers to them to spread the Gospel. They are pioneering leaders.

Steve Addison has chronicled the advance of the Gospel through such movements, both on his website, www.movements.net, and in his three books. His first, Movements that Change the World, identifies five key characteristics of church planting movements. His second, What Jesus Started, provides the biblical foundations for this range of approaches to church planting, and briefly describes a number of such movements around the world. His new book, Pioneering Movements: Leadership that Multiplies Disciples and Churches, focuses on lessons regarding the type of leaders God uses in these movements.

The first six chapters are the meat of the book.  Chapter one relates Addison’s personal story of becoming a movement leader, emphasizing that successful movement leadership results from a change of heart and perspective rather than from adopting a particular strategy or following a particular formula. One characteristic of church planting movements is an emphasis on obedience, teaching others to obey all that Jesus commands, rather than simply teaching what Jesus commands. The author had to take that lesson to heart himself. One aspect of that change was shifting his focus to training others to build up the movement, rather than building dependency on himself, the leader.

Chapter two considers Jesus as the model for a movement leader, summarizing some of the content from What Jesus Started.

Chapter three then looks at Peter’s leadership of the early church. By any human standard, Peter was not qualified for this role. But he had been with Jesus – and that made all the difference. With that foundation, Peter continued to learn; he developed other leaders; he remained focused on the Word received; he moved wherever God led him. Along the way, Addison addresses a common misconception in Western churches. In Acts 6, the apostles do not get involved with the dispute about meals for widows so that they can focus on “prayer and the ministry of the Word.” He writes:

To our ears, [this] sounds like something a pastor does in his study before preaching. . . . [But in Acts] the Word is a living force unleashed by the living God (Acts 4:4, 29, 31). . . . So when the apostles described their priority, . . . it meant they were leaders of an expanding missionary movement driven by the living Word and the power of God released through prayer. (p. 54)

Chapter four focuses on structures that allow church planting movements to flourish. Paul’s missionary band was not an arm of the church in Antioch, but a separate entity, supported and encouraged by that church. This, Addison argues, should be the pattern for us today, as missionary bands go out in an apostolic fashion to unreached peoples, local churches go out evangelistically to those around them, and both partner, prayerfully and financially, for the advance of the Kingdom.

Chapter five relates the story of one contemporary movement leader, Nathan Shank, and some of the leaders developed through his ministry in South Asia. One of these new leaders, Lipok, had by any standard a successful ministry starting churches among the Mising people in the early 2000s. To Lipok, a successful church plant had to have a building.  Paid evangelists went out to the lost, bringing people to Christ, and then sending them to the churches with buildings. But he realized “he couldn’t build churches fast enough to reach all of the Mising people” (p. 83). Through Nathan’s influence, Lipok began training every disciple to become a disciple-maker. Multiplication skyrocketed. By 2014, Lipok attests that over 10,000 churches have begun in this movement. A movement dependent on paid evangelists would not multiply. Nor would a movement dependent on building buildings. But a movement that expected new believers to obey the biblical command to make disciples, and trained and encouraged them to do so, could grow exponentially.

In contrast, Addison tells the story of 19th century Methodist missionary William Taylor, who saw great response to the Gospel through his ministry on six continents. He aimed for missionaries to be servants rather than masters, founding churches that were self-supporting and self-governing. Yet his missions board was furious at this lack of dependency (p. 92). Such attitudes have been far too prevalent in the history of missions.

Chapter six details five levels of movement leadership, culled from the experience of numerous movements: Seed Sowers, who know how to share the Gospel and who to share it with; Church Planters, who know how to disciple others to obey Jesus’ commands and to become seed sowers, know biblically what a church is, and help new believers to become well-functioning churches; Church Multipliers, who help churches to produce daughter, granddaughter, and great-granddaughter churches, releasing authority to the church planters they produce; Multiplication Trainers, who reach outside their own network to spur other church planting movements; and Movement Catalysts, who focus on developing church planting movements within an unreached people or region. Addison argues that church planting movements are rare today in the West because very few Church Planters ever even consider becoming Church Multipliers (p. 101).

Chapters seven and eight provide case studies of several movements and leaders in the US and in South Africa, while chapter nine discusses movements among Muslim peoples. Chapter ten concludes the book with a warning: All movement leaders will face crises, disappointments, and pain. All movement leaders are weak in and of themselves:

Movement pioneers see cities, regions and nations. They make bold, audacious plans. Along the way they face hardship and disappointment, opposition and delay. At times they may feel abandoned by God and alone. They will also see the power of God at work. Prayers will be answered. God’s provision will come at the very last moment. Workers will be mobilized. The gospel will spread. History will be made. There is a price to pay, and it’s worth it. (p. 164)

Some pastors and theologians, skeptical about church planting movements, have criticized taking lessons from the experience of a small number of movements and baptizing that experience as the way to do missions. They argue that CPMs are the latest fad – and we should not follow fads, but rather follow the biblical prescriptions for discipling all nations. I myself have made similar arguments about the faddishness of much of the church planting literature in the US. We surely want to remain grounded in Scripture’s lessons, and not jump from fad to fad.

Addison modeled how to counter this line of argument in What Jesus Started, by showing the biblical basis for this approach to missions, and highlighting movements that differ in many details but share this common biblical approach. Unfortunately, in the latter chapters of this latest work he sometimes slips into a pattern of speaking that lays himself open to the critics. For example, speaking of CPMs among Muslim peoples in chapter nine, he writes:

The place to begin [in evangelism of Muslims] is with the story of creation and move through portions of the Old Testament, such as the prophets of the Old Testament, before moving on to the stories about Jesus in the Gospels. (p 152)

Here Addison has departed from describing the way Muslim movements have worked, and instead is prescribing the way Muslim movements should operate. Yet other missionaries have seen a positive response among Muslims from starting with Proverbs, or starting with stories from the Gospels. Addison instead could have written, “Others desiring to work among Muslims should consider seriously this pattern of beginning with the story of creation and then much of the Old Testament prior to getting to Jesus.”

There are similar issues in the conclusion to chapter eight, where the author tells us how to become a Great Commission church. Addison again sometimes slips into using language that can sound as if he is providing a formula: “How to start a church planting movement in ten easy steps.” This too plays into the hands of the critics. The pity is that there are powerful lessons in this chapter for churches that want to move in this direction. And as he himself argues cogently earlier in the book, there is no formula. There are biblical patterns; there are experiences from around the world. So let us study Scripture, learn what we can from the experiences – and step out in obedience.

In sum, Pioneering Movements is a helpful and important work that draws on biblical foundations and the experience of church planting pioneers over the last 200 years to draw lessons for today. God is at work building His church among the poor and among the rich, among the reached and among the unreached. I have seen it firsthand. Read this book. Search the Scriptures to see if these things are true. Consider the experience of many in such movements. And then play your role in the drama God has ordained, as He builds His church from those of every tribe and tongue and people and nation.

Steve Addison, Pioneering Movements: Leadership that Multiplies Disciples and Churches, IVP, 2015. The book will be available in early December, 2015, and can be pre-ordered today. See www.movements.net for any possible discounts on orders.

Jenner, Dolezal, Roof – and Identity

Bruce Jenner

Rachel Dolezal

Dylann Roof

An Olympic champion decathlete who now identifies as a woman; a white woman who told others she was black; a young man who walked into an African-American church prayer meeting Wednesday night and killed 9 people, saying, according to reports, “You rape our women and you’re taking over our country. And you have to go.”

What is the link among them?

They certainly are dramatically different from each other – most obviously in that neither Jenner nor Dolezal has assaulted another person, while Roof has committed a horrendous act of terror.

But look at these three through the lens of identity, through the question, “Who are you?” Each seems to be trying to find an identity they lack:

  • Jenner reports to have dressed in women’s clothes secretly for years, and looks to find freedom by now publicly acting like a woman.
  • Dolezal identifies with “the black experience,” as she calls it, and became the head of a local branch of the NAACP. By all accounts, she was quite effective in that job. But she lied about her white biological parents, claiming her father was African-American.
  • From the pictures on his Facebook page, Roof seems to glory in white supremacy, to find meaning in seeing his race as better than and threatened by blacks.

Jenner is trying to find joy, fulfillment, and freedom in gender identity. Realize that Jenner is not among those whose biological development goes awry in the womb, resulting in a difficult-to-determine sex. He is a biological male. Indeed, no woman has ever run 400 meters in 47.51 seconds as he did – and if any woman ever does, she certainly will not also be able match Jenner in putting a 16 lb shot over 50 feet, long jumping over 23’ 8”, pole vaulting over 15’ 8”, and high jumping over 6’ 7”. (All time only 14 women have long jumped farther, 9 women have vaulted higher, and 17 women have jumped higher – and no woman appears on even two of those lists.)

But gender, say many today, is a social construct, distinct from biological sex, and Jenner is simply choosing to live as his/her genuine gender, not trying (at least not yet) to change sex.

Certainly many of the expectations a culture has for men’s roles and women’s roles are social constructs, with little if any relation either to biology or to biblical manhood and womanhood. The way we dress, the way we walk, the work that we do, the jewelry or make-up we wear, laws concerning voting and land ownership and inheritance – all these are social constructs. We Christians have to be careful not to claim that our own sub-culture’s expectations for how men and women act are all rooted in biblical revelation.

But while we must agree that some aspects of any culture’s conceptions of manhood and womanhood are social constructs, biology tells us there are some unique roles for the sexes, and Scripture tells us our Creator’s prescription – a prescription which may seem to be constraining, but in fact, as one aspect of submission to Christ and being transformed through the renewal of our minds, will lead to freedom.

Jenner stated, “As soon as the Vanity Fair cover comes out, I’m free.” Jenner is trying to find freedom and joy in a change of identity, a change of public persona, a change of outward gender role. But Scripture tells us our identity is to found in Christ and obedience to Him. No other identity will lead to eternal joy.

Dolezal and Roof in quite different ways are trying to find joy and fulfillment through racial identity: Dolezal by pretending to be black and becoming a defender of black interests; Roof apparently by deluding himself into thinking of whites as superior, and finding identity in being the supposed noble defender of the superior race. Roof’s sense of identity then leads to the horror and carnage of Wednesday night.

Note that race is completely a social construct. Race, unlike sex, is not biologically determined. Some ethnicities are biologically distinct – but not races. That is, there are no genetic markers common to everyone we perceive as black, or to everyone we perceive as white – just as in India there are no genetic markers common to everyone in one caste or another. Yet this social construct of race (like caste) influences the way we see ourselves and others, and deeply impacts how others treat us (horribly, even to the point of hating and persecuting and killing).

So since race is a social construct, what’s the problem with a person society labels “white” as a child deciding to live as “black” as an adult?

The problem – for Jenner, for Dolezal, for Roof, and for us –comes down to: Where do you primarily find identity?

We all have multiple roles and identities: Our families, our jobs, our income, our nationalities, our ethnic heritage, our language, our education – all of these as well as race and gender feed into who we are.

But where do you primarily find identity.

Scripture tells us: Our first and foremost identity, the identity that defines us most vitally, the identity that determines our future is this: Who we are before God.

For God created mankind in His image and by right that creation rules as king. All mankind shares His image. Yet all mankind has defiled that image, rebelling against our rightful king, setting ourselves up as the arbiter of right and wrong – indeed, attempting to find our primary identity in something other than what God says about us. We deserve His punishment; we deserve eternal separation from Him. But God determined and promised that He would call from all types of mankind one people for Himself to be His treasured possession – to delight in Him above all things, and to be His great joy for all eternity. In an act of sheer grace, He sent His Son, the Second Person of the godhead, to become man and to live the life we all should have lived. Through His death on the cross, He suffered the penalty due to us for our rebellion. But God raised Him from the dead, proving the penalty was sufficient. To all who come to Him by faith in the Son, submitting to Him as King, rejoicing in Him as the greatest Treasure, He grants an identity that defines all else: Beloved by God. A part of the Bride of Christ. God’s precious possession.

So the Apostle Paul writes:

In Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise. (Galatians 3:26-29)

Paul is not denying that ethnicity is important – any more than he is denying that sex is important. He is saying that in Christ, we have a new identity: Members of God’s family! We have put off the old self and have put on the new self – a restored image of God! (Colossians 3:9-11). We retain our sex, our ethnicity, and, at least for a  time, our roles in the economy – but none of these define us. We may be black or white or Chinese or Indian – and our ethnicities can serve to glorify God (Revelation 7:9-10) – but we are all primarily Abraham’s offspring, heirs of the promise to him, fulfilled in Christ Jesus.

So by all means pray that Jenner and Dolezal and Roof will find their identity in the only source of true freedom, true fulfillment, and true joy – Christ Himself.

But also ask yourself: Who am I? What most defines me?

Scripture tells us: Our relationship to God must define us most. If we do not know Christ, our separation from Him, our position under His wrath, defines us. If we trust in Christ, He gives us an identity. He calls us God’s children. He makes us His Bride – without spot or blemish or any such thing.

That is who we are. This defines us – more than race or gender or income or class. May we delight in that identity – and live it out fully – to the glory of our Lord.

Being Part of God’s Family

Romans 2:28-29  For no one is a Jew who is merely one outwardly, nor is circumcision outward and physical.  But a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter. His praise is not from man but from God.

We looked at these verses in the May 10th sermon. Paul uses the word “Jew” here to refer to one of God’s people – someone loved by God, in covenant with God, part of God’s family. God had given circumcision as the sign of His covenant with Abraham in Genesis 17. Paul says that God intended physical circumcision as a sign pointing to an inner reality – the inner reality of a circumcised heart, effected by the Holy Spirit.

What is a circumcised heart? Consider Moses’ words to the people of Israel in Deuteronomy 10:

And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the LORD, which I am commanding you today for your good?  Behold, to the LORD your God belong heaven and the heaven of heavens, the earth with all that is in it.  Yet the LORD set his heart in love on your fathers and chose their offspring after them, you above all peoples, as you are this day. Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no longer stubborn. . . . You shall fear the LORD your God. You shall serve him and hold fast to him, and by his name you shall swear. He is your praise. He is your God. (Deuteronomy 10:12-16, 20-21a, emphasis added)

Moses sums up all the initial commands in telling the Israelites to circumcise their hearts. Thus, to have a circumcised heart is to fear God, to follow Him, to love Him, to serve Him with all your being, from the heart – and thus to keep His commandments, which, after all, will lead to good and not harm, fulfillment and not slavery. To have a circumcised heart also includes recognizing the great privilege of being loved by the God of all creation, and thus to praise Him, to rejoice in Him, to recognize Him as your God.

With that in mind, think again about Romans 2:28-29. Paul there echoes the truths of Deuteronomy 10 in saying the physical sign is precious when accompanied by this inner reality of a circumcised heart. However, the physical sign without the inner reality is worthless. The physical sign means nothing on someone who is stubborn, who resists God, who does not walk in His ways, who does not love or praise God.

Imagine a sign declaring, “Pot of Gold 20 Yards Ahead!” That sign is quite valuable if it indeed points to a pot of gold. But if there is no pot of gold, the sign is worthless – indeed, it is worse than worthless, it is deceptive. It causes others to divert their time and energy to look for something valuable which is not there in reality.

So in Romans 2 Paul says: “Being part of God’s family consists of much more than having an external, physical sign. Anyone who is in God’s family is His on the inside. Indeed, the Holy Spirit miraculously transforms the hearts of God’s true children. They then care nothing about the praise of men – they instead are seeking praise and glory and honor from God alone.”

As a student of the Hebrew Scriptures all his life, Paul would have been familiar with the concept of heart circumcision. But at a key moment in the Apostle’s life, God used the voice of a condemned man to sear Paul’s soul with this truth.

In Acts 7, Stephen is brought before the Jewish council, on trial for speaking words against the temple and the Law. Stephen concludes his speech

“You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit. As your fathers did, so do you.  Which of the prophets did your fathers not persecute? And they killed those who announced beforehand the coming of the Righteous One, whom you have now betrayed and murdered,  you who received the law as delivered by angels and did not keep it.” (Acts 7:51-53, emphasis added)

Paul was there (Acts 7:58)! The future Apostle was right there, watching and listening – and approving of the stoning (Acts 8:1)! He heard Stephen call the Jewish leaders – call him! – stubborn, resistant to the Holy Spirit, uncircumcised in heart. And he heard Stephen say that his listeners did not keep the Law. And everything in Saul/Paul must have rebelled against that statement: “I keep the Law! I am righteous! I am circumcised in heart! I am advancing in Judaism beyond my age mates! I follow the traditions of the forefathers. This man, this Stephen is blaspheming against our God, against our Law, against our Temple; indeed, this is slander against me.”

But the Holy Spirit took those words of Stephen, and they did not return to God void. After Saul/Paul’s encounter with the risen Jesus on the road to Damascus, he saw his insolence (1 Timothy 1:13), his stubbornness – he saw that his heart was indeed uncircumcised. He did not love God; instead, he rejected His work, he rejected the true nature of His Law – he worshiped his own law keeping, not the One Lawgiver. Saul/Paul saw that he could not make himself part of God’s family – instead, his very attempts to accomplish that were driving him further away from God. He needed a righteousness from God. He needed a Redeemer. He needed Christ Jesus.

God reached down in mercy to this arrogant persecutor of the church, and made him His own precious child. God brought this man into His family – and circumcised his heart.

Just so with us. We cannot produce love for God, service from the heart for God, fear of God, and obedience to God from our inner resources. We, like Paul, will instead just add to our rebellion if we think we’ve succeeded.

But God in His mercy extends the offer of intimacy in His family to whoever calls on the Name of the Lord (Romans 10:13). So humble yourself before Him. Ask, “Would you circumcise my heart? Would you in your mercy change even a sinner like me? Would you forgive me in accordance with the perfect sacrifice of Jesus?” Jesus is the atoning sacrifice for our sins. And God the Father never despises a broken and contrite heart (Psalm 51:17).

“Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no longer stubborn.” May we all obey – and be brought into God’s intimate family by the blood of Jesus.

 

Two Kingdoms: The Kingdom of Darkness Defeated

Consider the Gospel presentation, “Two Kingdoms:”

Here is a truth I have come to know.  God created the world as His Kingdom, and all was very good. But Satan rebelled, desiring worship that only God deserved. He set up his own kingdom, at war with God’s kingdom of light. The first man and woman, deceived by Satan, chose to rebel also. Since then, all of us have joined that rebellion against our rightful king.

Satan’s kingdom is the kingdom of darkness. He deceives people, saying, “You don’t have to serve me, just serve yourself!” Yet as we serve ourselves, we end up destroying all that is good, even all true pleasure. That is Satan’s goal.

God’s kingdom of light has overcome the kingdom of darkness. For God sent Jesus to earth to live as man should live. Jesus then died on a cross, suffering to pay the penalty we deserve for our rebellion. But God raised Him from the dead, showing that Jesus has authority even over death and the kingdom of darkness. Jesus will reign forever and ever.

God commands all men to turn from their rebellion against Him. He invites all of us to leave the kingdom of darkness and to become citizens of the Kingdom of light. We must turn from our selfish ways and acknowledge that Jesus is our rightful King. We must let Him tell us what to do. By God’s mercy on account of the cross, we can receive His forgiveness and escape from the kingdom of darkness, gaining love, joy, and peace in the Kingdom of light forever.

We live in this little bubble called life for 70 to 80 years. When it pops, we join whichever king we served for all eternity. Which king are you serving?

In a series of blog posts, we’re looking at different key points in this presentation. Today: God’s kingdom of light has overcome the kingdom of darkness.

When we look around the world today, it seems as if the kingdom of darkness is thriving: The earthquake in Nepal kills thousands and leaves tens of thousands more homeless. Hunger, oppression, and disease are the order of the day in many countries. Billions remain in rebellion against God.

Indeed, Jesus Himself assures us, “In this world you will have tribulation” (John 16:33). Elsewhere He says that until He comes there will be wars, famines, earthquakes, persecutions, deceptions, and betrayals (Matthew 24:4-12).

But Scripture is explicit: Not only will Christ reign over His Kingdom forever and ever (Revelation 11:15); already our Lord has overcome Satan’s kingdom.

Consider John 16:33. We quoted part of it above: Jesus promises us tribulation. But He goes on to say: “But take heart; I have overcome (or ‘conquered’) the world.” He has done it. The decisive battle is won. So Jesus, on the cross, can say, “It is finished,” bow His head and give up His spirit (John 19:30). The work is done. Redemption is accomplished. Satan is defeated. So Paul writes that God has “disarmed the [spiritual] rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them” (Colossians 2:15).

So we live in a world in which evil and rebellion are abundant; yet Scripture tells us Satan is defeated. How do both of these statements hold?

Biblical theologian George Eldon Ladd provides us with helpful language on this point: The Kingdom is already here, but it has not yet come in its fullness. The decisive battle is already won, but final victory is not yet completed. The Kingdom already has invaded this “present evil age” (Galatians 1:4), but every knee has not yet bowed to Lord Jesus (Philippians 2:10). Like yeast in bread dough, the Kingdom today may seem insignificant; indeed it may seem invisible. But it will multiply and spread until it permeates the entire batch (Matthew 13:33).

Much of the book of Revelation reflects these already/not yet truths. In the seven letters to the churches in chapters 2 and 3, the Lord Jesus finds serious error in five of them, and the others are suffering persecution. But in chapters 4 and 5, God reigns in His throne room, and “every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them” worship the One Who sits on the throne and the Lamb (Revelation 5:13). Then in chapter six, those who have been killed because of their proclamation of God’s Word ask when God will execute justice and avenge their blood – that judgment is not yet. They are told that the judgment is indeed coming – it is certain, it is already confirmed – but they are to wait a little while.

So today we live in this in between time. Jesus has won the victory; He is King of the Kingdom of Light; He deserves all honor and praise; He has all authority. He has already accomplished all of that. But rebellion against Him continues. Death and destruction wreak their horrors. Pain and suffering are not yet over.

But the yeast spreads. This Gospel of the Kingdom will be preached as a testimony to all nations (Matthew 24:14). Then Jesus will return – and the “not yet” will become the “already:” Every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord (Philippians 2:11) . God’s glory will fill the earth as the waters cover the sea (Habakkuk 2:14). God Himself will wipe every tear from the eyes of His children. There will be no more death, no more suffering, no more crying, no more pain, for the old order will have passed away (Revelation 21:4).

God’s kingdom of light has overcome the kingdom of darkness. Already. And soon, the Kingdom will come in all its fullness. Amen. Your Kingdom come, O Lord.

Two Kingdoms: Our Rebellion Destroys True Pleasure

Consider once again the “Two Kingdoms” Gospel presentation:

Here is a truth I have come to know.  God created the world as His Kingdom, and all was very good. But Satan rebelled, desiring worship that only God deserved. He set up his own kingdom, at war with God’s kingdom of light. The first man and woman, deceived by Satan, chose to rebel also. Since then, all of us have joined that rebellion against our rightful king.

Satan’s kingdom is the kingdom of darkness. He deceives people, saying, “You don’t have to serve me, just serve yourself!” Yet as we serve ourselves, we end up destroying all that is good, even all true pleasure. That is Satan’s goal.

God’s kingdom of light has overcome the kingdom of darkness. For God sent Jesus to earth to live as man should live. Jesus then died on a cross, suffering to pay the penalty we deserve for our rebellion. But God raised Him from the dead, showing that Jesus has authority even over death and the kingdom of darkness. Jesus will reign forever and ever.

God commands all men to turn from their rebellion against Him. He invites all of us to leave the kingdom of darkness and to become citizens of the Kingdom of light. We must turn from our selfish ways and acknowledge that Jesus is our rightful King. We must let Him tell us what to do. By God’s mercy on account of the cross, we can receive His forgiveness and escape from the kingdom of darkness, gaining love, joy, and peace in the Kingdom of light forever.

We live in this little bubble called life for 70 to 80 years. When it pops, we join whichever king we served for all eternity. Which king are you serving?

In a series of blog posts, we are looking at different key points in this presentation. Today: The destruction of true pleasure as we rebel against God and serve ourselves.

We have seen that sin is not like breaking a speed limit. On a clear day with few cars on the road, we may be able to achieve the purposes of the traffic regulation – safe driving – while speeding. So, if we can avoid getting caught, there is no downside to safely driving above the limit. But breaking God’s Law is not like that. Whenever we sin, we are rebelling against the wise God, our rightful King. We are saying that we know better than He what is in our own best interest. We are acting as if He is not good, not all-knowing – we are acting as if He is limiting our pleasure and fulfillment.

Today, let’s look further at our motivation for sinning: While we think that rebelling against God will bring us pleasure – and Satan encourages us to think this way – in fact, our attempts to serve ourselves end up destroying all true pleasure. Thus, thinking ourselves wise – thinking that we’re smart enough to know better than God how to pursue our greatest joy – we become fools; we destroy all that is good, all that leads to joy.

Why is this the case? Two reasons.

First, because God’s commands are given for our good (Deuteronomy 6:24, 10:13). In following the wisdom of God we find life. As Proverbs 12:28 says, “In the path of righteousness is life, and in its pathway there is no death.”

Similarly, in Proverbs 8, Wisdom says

Take my instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her. (Proverbs 8:10-11)

She concludes:

Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors.  For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the LORD, but he who fails to find me injures himself; all who hate me love death.” (Proverbs 8:34-36)

Jesus echoes this claim:

All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:8-10)

To choose riches rather than Scriptural wisdom and obedience to God is to lose out. Whatever we desire apart from wisdom leads to less joy, not more. Indeed, true life is found only in following God. Rebellion leads to our hurting ourselves. And so we in effect love death – as we rebel, thinking we are pursuing pleasure, we are rushing headlong into the destruction of pleasure.

Jesus is even more explicit. All others claiming to know the way to God or the path to joy steal and kill and destroy pleasure. They are deceivers – thieves and robbers. But Jesus offers us true life, abundant life, real pleasure. Indeed, later He will say that eternal life is knowing God the Father and Him (John 17:2).

This brings us to the second reason our rebellion leads to the destruction of pleasure. We are eternal beings, and our rebellion has eternal consequences. In choosing to rebel, we often calculate the expected pleasure from sinning against the possible costs. We’ve seen above that even in this life, we actually lose pleasure – the costs far outweigh the supposed benefits. But when we incorporate the eternal consequences of rebellion, the costs pile up higher and higher.

Again, Jesus Himself makes this clear:

An hour is coming when all who are in the tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who have done good to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil to the resurrection of judgment. (John 5:28-29)

We all will have a resurrection. The question is: A resurrection to what? To life, or to horrible judgment? A life lived in rebellion against God will inevitably lead to that horrible judgment – the end of any possible pleasure.

Furthermore, the Apostle Paul says that Jesus, when He comes again,

will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of his power (2 Thessalonians 1:8-9 NIV).

Shut out from the only source of goodness, from the only source of joy. That’s where rebels end up. But those who are His, those who are saved by His grace, those who joyfully obey Him, can say with confidence,

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11)

So, consider:

  • How often do you give in to temptation, thinking this will bring you joy?
  • How often do you think of God as a spoilsport, hindering what will bring you fulfillment and pleasure?
  • How often do you think of God as a taskmaster, giving you a long list of tedious, frustrating rules to follow?

To act or think in these ways is to believe Satan’s lies, to rebel against God, to despise His wisdom and goodness – and ultimately to destroy your own pleasure.

So look to the source of all true life! Bow down before your King – and in that bowing, in that submission, in that worship, you will find fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore.

Jesus’ Last Evening: Love One Another

Tonight we remember the last evening of our Lord’s life. Recall the key events and statements that lead up to Jesus’ arrest:

  • Jesus washing the disciples’ feet
  • The prophecy of a betrayal by one of the Twelve
  • The Last Supper, and the institution of the Lord’s Supper
  • The New Commandment: That they love one another as He has loved them
  • The prophecy of Peter’s denial
  • “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life”
  • “Whoever has seen Me has seen the Father”
  • “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments”
  • “Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing”
  • “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit”
  • “The hour is coming when whoever kills you will think he is offering service to God.  And they will do these things because they have not known the Father, nor me.”
  • “If I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.”
  • “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
  • “This is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.”
  • “The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one,  I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.”
  • “I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.”
  • Gethsemane: “Not My will, but Yours be done.”
  • To Judas: “Would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?”

Over the centuries, many Christians have seen the New Commandment –  “Love one another as I have loved you” – as the theme that integrates all these events and statements. (For this reason, many call this evening Maundy Thursday, from mandatum, the Latin word for “commandment” in John 13:34.) With that in mind, consider how much we learn about love through the highlights above:

  • Love is humble and serves
  • Love is loyal, and never betrays
  • Love is forgiving and forbearing
  • Love warns and speaks even hard truths when that will be good for the other
  • Love gives up all for the loved ones
  • Jesus’ love encourages us and empowers us through the Helper to become like Him and to fulfill His work
  • Love sends us out
  • Love warns of division and opposition
  • Love points others to the only source of all good, the Father Himself
  • Love makes clear there is only one way to the Father
  • Love emphasizes our weakness to accomplish anything apart from Christ in us
  • When we love Jesus, we rejoice to obey Him
  • The loving, humble Jesus says that to know Him and the Father is eternal life
  • Love unifies us so that our very unity might bear witness to the One Who loves

We can say more. The disciples who heard Jesus speak and act out these truths then taught others the New Commandment and its implications. The Apostle Paul highlights the commandment also. Here is a complete selection of verses in the New Testament that use the Greek word for “one another” in reference to some or all followers of Christ. Negatively, we are told not to:

  • Pass judgment on one another
  • Put a hindrance in another’s way
  • Divide one from another
  • Provoke or envy one another
  • Lie to one another
  • Seek revenge on one another
  • Speak evil of one another
  • Grumble against one another

Instead, positively we are to:

  • Encourage one another
  • Honor one another
  • Live in harmony with one another
  • Pursue peace with one another
  • Welcome one another
  • Show hospitality to one another
  • Instruct one another
  • Greet one another
  • Serve one another
  • Bear one another’s burdens
  • Bear with and forgive one another
  • Do good to one another
  • Speak the truth to one another
  • Be kind to one another
  • Submit to one another
  • Count others more significant than yourself
  • Consider one another, how to stir up one another to love and good works
  • Confess sins to one another
  • Pray for one another
  • Know that we have fellowship with one another – that is, we are teammates for a common purpose

So on this “New Commandment Thursday,” I encourage you to meditate on these Scriptures and to reflect on this summary list of what loving one another means. May God be pleased to make us “increase and abound in love for one another and for all . . . so that he may establish [our] hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints” (1 Thessalonians 3:12-13).

 

Beginning Romans

We begin this Sunday a new series of sermons on the book of Romans, The Power of God Unto Salvation to Everyone Who Believes.

Throughout church history, God has used this letter time and again to bring many to faith and to restore His church to Gospel truths. Read the biographies or the writings of Augustine, of Luther, of Bunyan, of Wesley, and you will see the great influence of the book of Romans.

The title of our series is taken from Romans 1:16, which reads in part, “the gospel . . .  is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes.”

Note three key truths in this brief sentence:

  1. The Gospel is not only Good News. It is not only an offer or invitation. It is a power. It is a power granted to people. And it is a power that is effective, that produces a result: salvation.
  2. And what can we say about this salvation? The Gospel not only saves us from God’s just wrath – His righteous punishment, from hell itself – which all men deserve (Romans 1:18, 3:23). Nor does the Gospel save us only from our self-destructive passions and desires (Romans 1:24-27). That is, the Gospel is not simply a get-out-of-hell-free card. Rather, the Gospel saves us unto being Christlike (Romans 8:29). The Gospel transforms us from the inside out (12:2). It is indeed the power of God unto salvation, unto becoming what God created us to be.
  3. This Gospel, this power unto salvation, is to everyone who believes. It is not to all Jews because they are descended from Abraham; it is not to those who have the Scriptures because they have the Scriptures; it is not to those who prove themselves worthy or who look righteous in the eyes of others. Rather, this power unto salvation is for all who look away from themselves and look to the power of God unto salvation, who look away from their own efforts and look to Jesus who has already made the effort.

So this Gospel, this power – this Spirit-wrought ability to be conformed to Christlikeness – is yours now as a gift, if you believe, if you trust, if you depend on Christ alone. As the Apostle says to those who have received this power, “Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Romans 13:14).

And that present, in-this-world salvation from slavery to sin culminates in the eternal, joyful state – when we, as “heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ” are glorified with Him (Romans 8:17) and revealed as the sons of God (Romans 8:19).

That’s the glorious theme of the letter to the Romans.

So I encourage you: Read the book in its entirety, noting the way Paul weaves this theme throughout. Let this letter begin to dwell in you richly – and pray with me that God would use this great epistle for His glory in the life of DGCC as He has used it so often in His people over the centuries.

But how are we to approach this letter? How should we go about interpreting it?

Consider these three guidelines:

  1. Look at the context. Many of you have heard me quote D.A. Carson: “A text without a context is just a pretext for a proof text.” We must look at the context, then look at the context, then keep looking at the context. How we interpret any one verse must make sense in the flow of thought in the surrounding paragraph, in the chapter, in the letter, in the New Testament as a whole, in the story of the Bible as a whole. While this exhortation holds for the interpretation of all Scripture, the near context is especially important when interpreting Romans. Paul is always a logical thinker who advances his argument systematically, but in Romans – unlike, say, his second longest letter, 1 Corinthians, where he addresses a series of somewhat separate issues in the Corinthian church – he sustains his argument over most all of the book.
  2. Ask the right question. If you don’t ask the right question you cannot get the right answer. And if the question you ask seems to have no good answer, perhaps you are asking the wrong question. As a possible example, consider Paul’s account of his struggle with sin: “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Romans 7:15). Many interpreters ask the question: Is Paul talking about his pre-Christian life, or his life as a believer? The question itself presupposes that he is talking about one or the other. And in the history of interpretation of Romans 7, scholars have marshaled strong arguments for one answer to that question or the other. But what if both non-Christians and Christians can experience such a struggle – and yet neither all non-Christians nor all Christians have that struggle? In that case, we would have asked the wrong question, and the question itself would have diverted us from properly understanding the passage. We have to ask the right questions.
  3. Know the Old Testament. We cannot understand the book of Romans without an understanding of the Old Testament. Paul quotes the Old Testament about fifty times in this letter – an average of almost four times a page in my Bible. He draws time and again on Old Testament stories: Adam, Abraham, Jacob and Esau, Pharaoh and Moses, David. He speaks of Old Testament ideas and uses Old Testament categories: Law, circumcision, remnant, sacrifice. We must dig into the Old Testament if we are to dig into and profit from Romans.

So join me in eagerly anticipating what God will do through our time in this great book. May these truths dwell in us richly, so that we may become what God intends us to be individually and corporately, and therefore we might play our role in bringing about “the obedience of faith for the sake of His Name among all the nations” (Romans 1:5).

Fearing the One Who is Fearsome: God and Truth

Those of you following the Bible Unity Reading Plan are nearing the end of the first five books of the Bible, the Pentateuch, sometimes called the books of Moses. God has brought His people to the edge of the Promised Land. Here Moses reviews the more than forty years since God brought His people out of Egypt. The people have seen God work; they have heard His voice; they have sometimes responded with joyful obedience, but so often instead have rebelled against Him. God has brought them to Himself (Exodus 19:4); He has made them His people and so they are to love Him above all and obey Him (Exodus 20:2-17, Deuteronomy 27:9-10, 6:5-9). He has given them all these commandments for their good (Deuteronomy 10:12-13).

As Moses looks forward past his death, knowing their bent toward rebellion, he warns them:

If you are not careful to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that you may fear this glorious and awesome name, the LORD your God, then the LORD will bring on you and your offspring extraordinary afflictions (Deuteronomy 28:58-59 ESV).

Bear with me here for a bit as we look in more detail at this text.

What is the purpose of the central clause? Why does Moses include, “that you may fear this glorious and awesome name, the LORD your God”?

First of all, remember that the word “Lord” in all capitals is used when the Hebrew text contains the Name of God, “I Am That I Am, ” most often these days transliterated “Yahweh.” With this understanding, it is clear that “this glorious and awesome name” and “the LORD your God” are in parallel to each other.

Second, remember that for the ancient Israelites, names were often used to describe character. A name is a window into who the person is. So to say that God’s Name is glorious and awesome is to say HE is glorious and awesome.

Third, note that the Hebrew verb translated “fear” is repeated in a different conjugation and translated “awesome” by the ESV.

At this point, perhaps a different translation will be helpful. Let’s take the New American Standard, replace “LORD” with “Yahweh,” and replace “fear” with “hold in awe”:

If you are not careful to observe all the words of this law which are written in this book, to hold in awe this honored and awesome name, Yahweh your God (Deuteronomy 28:58)

In this rendering, the point of the central clause is clearer: Moses is restating in other words what it means to be “careful to observe all the words of this law.” We cannot do that in a legalistic sense: “OK, here’s a command, I’ll keep it and show God how good I am.” For to be careful to observe all the words of this law is indeed to love Yahweh with all our heart, soul, and strength!

Rather, Moses is saying that to be careful to observe all the words of this law is indeed logical, true, right, and pure; it is to fear the One who is fearsome, to hold in awe the One who is awesome, to honor the One who alone deserves honor, to delight in the One who is Joy itself.

And all of that depends on Yahweh being the true God, the God of truth, who speaks words of truth to His people. If He is not, then none of Moses’ words make any sense. There is no reason to fear Him if He is not fearsome; there is no reason to hold Him in awe if He is not awesome.

Thus, hundreds of times Scripture emphasizes that God is true, that His words are true, that Scripture itself is our only hope of knowing the truth. Allow me to give a quick summary of the way God speaks of truth in His Word:

  • God’s ways, judgments, rules, law, commandments, and words are all said to be true (2 Samuel 7:28, Psalm 18:30, 19:9, 119:142, 119:151, Proverbs 30:15, Revelation 15:3, 16:7, 19:2, and many more).
  • In contrast, those who oppose God are liars. Satan is the prototypical liar (John 8:44), the antichrist is defined as the liar (1 John 2:22), and those today who are unrighteous “suppress the truth” (Romans 1:18).
  • Jesus, on the other hand, emphasizes time and again that His words are true. More than 60 times, Jesus introduces His words with “Truly” or even “Truly, truly.” He came to bear witness to the truth, and everyone “of the truth” listens to Him (John 18:37). He alone is “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6).
  • This risen Jesus is “the true one,” “the true witness” (Revelation 3:7, 14).
  • God is seeking true worshipers who must worship Him in spirit and truth (John 4:23-24).
  • It is through abiding/remaining in Jesus’ word that we will know the truth – and that truth will set us free (John 8:31-32).
  • We must receive the Spirit of Truth, who guides us into all truth (John 14:17, 15:26, 16:13, 1 John 5:6). We can then both know and be in Him who is true, the true God. And this is eternal life (1 John 5:20).
  • Paul calls the gospel “the word of truth” (Ephesians 1:13, Colossians 1:5), and he calls the church “a pillar and buttress of the truth” (1 Timothy 3:15).
  • In contrast, those who oppose God are under a “strong delusion” having “refused to love the truth and so be saved” (2 Thessalonians 2:10).
  • So we in the church must preach the Word, even when it is unpopular and derided, because many, having “itching ears,” will “turn away from listening to the truth” (2 Timothy 4:2-4).  And as we use the Scriptures for teaching and correction, God may “grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 2:25; see also 3:16).

Thus, Scripture claims that it is the source of ultimate truth. We, like the ancient Israelites, have a bent towards rebellion, towards suppressing this truth, and are therefore under a delusion. The Word by the Spirit must dwell in us richly if we are to know the truth, and in turn be set free. So we must submit ourselves to God and His Word – and so find the glorious freedom of the children of God.

So be careful to do all the words of God’s instruction – that is, hold in awe the One who is awesome, glory in the One who is glorious, hold to the true words of the One who is Truth – to your great joy and fulfillment.

[For further reflection on Scripture and truth, read and meditate on this compilation of more than 200 verses on this theme. For more on the process of coming to submit to Scripture, see these three blog posts from 2013: first, second, and third. The Bible Unity Reading Plan is available as an android app here.]

From Atheism to Truth

Holly Ordway was an English professor, a competitive fencer – and an atheist. She writes:

Life inside the fortress of atheism was good. I thought I could make sense of the world just as well as, or much better than, the people who claimed to have faith. I didn’t believe in God, but I had a worldview that felt perfectly satisfactory. It wasn’t a particularly cheery view, but I preferred truth over comfort any day. . . .

Some fools couldn’t face the darkness, but as for me, I could savor the idea of standing on my lonely precipice, able to recognize my identity as a meaningless speck in an uncaring universe and go on living without the artificial comforts of religion.

Over time, her atheism “gradually hardened into strident hostility.” Christians were fools, satisfying their longings with a made-up God. She dismissed any arguments for Christianity; “I had locked myself into my fortress and flung away the key.”

Yet, even in her fortress, Holly occasionally recognized that the world – and she herself – was stained:

All I had to do was look at myself and the people around me to recognize that anger, jealousy, insecurity, envy, contempt, selfishness, fear, and greed were deeply rooted in the soil of being human.

But she saw no solution to these problems with humanity in what she experienced of Christianity:

The bumper-sticker expressions of Christian affirmation—“I’m not perfect, just forgiven!” “God is my co-pilot!”—and the kitsch art that I saw—a blue-eyed Jesus in drapey robes (polyester?) comforting some repentant hipster, or cuddling impossibly adorable children (none crying or distracted), presented faith as a kind of pious flag-waving. “Look, I’m Christian! I know Jesus!” Well, thanks, but no thanks; this Jesus doesn’t look like he could handle anything worse than a skinned knee. I didn’t know then how to say it, but I was looking for the cosmic Christ, the one by whom all things were made, the risen and glorified Jesus at the right hand of the Father.

From high school, Holly was moved by poetry and loved fantasy literature. Indeed, an analysis of The Lord of the Rings figured prominently in her doctoral dissertation. When she began to teach poetry in her classes, she found herself moved by the faith-filled lines of John Donne, George Herbert, and Gerard Manley Hopkins. Donne’s Holy Sonnet 14 inspired a deep longing in her:

Batter my heart, three-person’d God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

Then Hopkins. He “blazed with intensity, illuminating a dimension to the world that I had not believed existed. I had so carefully honed my defenses of denial, individualism, and rebellion, and here was Hopkins slipping past my guard.” These lines from his poem “Carrion Comfort” hit her hard:

Not, I’ll not, carrion comfort, Despair, not feast on thee;
Not untwist—slack they may be—these last strands of man
In me or, most weary, cry I can no more. I can:
Can something, hope, wish day come, not choose not to be.

She writes:

Hadn’t I been feasting on Despair for years? And I was starving. I read and reread “Carrion Comfort”. Hopkins spoke what I had never shared with anyone, what I had scarcely dared to admit. He had been where I was—and had not stayed there. Hope, wish day come. . . . Was there such a thing as day for me to hope for?

Holly was surprised to find that her fencing coach of almost a year, Josh, was a Christian. He fit none of her stereotypes.

He was a caring and gentle person—though not a pushover—and there was something different about him, something I had never seen before: a kind of peace. His wife, Heidi, . . . had that same underlying joyfulness. . . . [Josh] cared about me, not as a potential convert, but as me, a unique individual, and he always, always treated me with respect.

One night after a disastrous fencing competition, Holly and Josh talk late into the night. She asks question after question. Her last question was key: “When I die, what do you think is going to happen to me?” Josh initially demurs: “I’d rather not answer that question.” But when Holly explains that she genuinely wants to know his thoughts, he replies:

“I believe that we will come before God in judgment, and he will give each person either perfect justice or perfect mercy.”

I sat in silence thinking about this for a moment. Slowly, I said, “And you believe that it would be better for me to know enough, beforehand, to ask for perfect mercy?”

“Yes, I do.”

And that was all he said. Perfect justice or perfect mercy. At that dim morning hour, and again as I thought about it later, I recognized something important: I didn’t want justice. I considered myself a ‘good person’, but in my heart I was afraid to be judged on the real self behind my outward image. Perfect justice was terrifying.

Following Josh’s suggestions, Holly then begins reading on apologetics. She comes to believe that arguments for the existence of God are more powerful than those against. But eventually she recognizes that, if God is Who Scriptures claims He is, He cannot be analyzed as an object. He is a Person. One day, “without my asking, I encountered the Other, God the Holy Spirit, in a way profoundly different from evaluating him as an idea.”

But she has still not reckoned with Jesus:

Was Jesus who he said he was? There were many miracles that I could think about, but they all paled into insignificance next to the singular miracle of the Resurrection. Had it really happened? Because if it had, then Christianity was true.

Two books were especially helpful to Holly at this point: Gary Habermas’ The Risen Jesus and Future Hope and N.T. Wright’s The Resurrection of the Son of God. Eventually convinced that Jesus did indeed rise from the dead physically, in a glorified body, she had a choice:

I could choose to turn my back, to reject Jesus, and in so doing reject utterly God himself. Pride urged me to do it. This was the voice that whispered: “If you surrender, you lose. Be your own self, no one else’s. Be a rebel.” Or I could accept defeat, lay down my arms and acknowledge Jesus as Lord. . . whatever that entailed.

She did indeed lay down her arms. She ended her rebellion. She submitted to her rightful king.

Holly’s journey to faith in Christ is her own. Her fencing coach Josh showed great discernment and wisdom in the way he gently led her to faith; but that way is not a model for all. Some will follow similar paths; many follow completely different paths.

And her book describes her continuing journey, to Anglicanism and then Roman Catholicism. (With her penchant for considering serious arguments, it would have been helpful had her coach Josh suggested she read Book 4 of John Calvin’s Institutes of the Christian Religion).

But praise God for His grace and mercy exhibited in the new life of Holly Ordway. Praise God that she is a recipient of perfect mercy. Praise God that He did batter the heart of this rebel against Him, that He did indeed bend His force to break, blow, burn, and make her new. May He work similarly in our friends, our families – and in our own hearts.

Holly Ordway, Not God’s Type: An Atheist Academic Lays Down Her Arms, (Ignatius Press, 2014).