The Generosity of God

From the fountainhead of God’s generosity flows Christian, gospel generosity. That is, we are called to imitate God’s generosity by giving the gospel of Jesus to the world. I think the best way to grasp the depth of God’s generosity, is to first consider his greatness. So let’s consider God’s greatness, his great generosity in light of himself, and our call to imitate him.

 

Imitate God

In Ephesian 5:1, Paul issues this command: “Therefore be imitators of God…”. This leads to the inevitable question. How can we be like God? Well, when you consider God, what comes to mind? Currently, we as a church family are memorizing Psalm 139 together. In this Psalm, David reflects on some of the awesome attributes of God. So, let’s consider Psalm 139 along with some other passages.

 

God’s Greatness

Perhaps when you consider God, his perfect knowledge springs forth. David reflects on this:

 

Psalm 139:1–6—O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.

 

Or, perhaps you think of God’s immensity. He is omnipresent, everywhere all at once. There is no place we can go that God is not there. Again, David observes:

 

Psalm 139:7–12—Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.

 

Or, perhaps you can’t help but think of his awesome power as the Creator, who created all things (Genesis 1:1). Consider a passage from Jeremiah:

 

Jeremiah 10:12–13—It is he who made the earth by his power, who established the world by his wisdom, and by his understanding stretched out the heavens. When he utters his voice, there is a tumult of waters in the heavens, and he makes the mist rise from the ends of the earth. He makes lightning for the rain, and he brings forth the wind from his storehouses.

 

And, again, David considers this awesome power of God to create life while also acknowledging, in the same breath, that it is in God’s power to take life:

 

Psalm 139:13–14—For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

 

Psalm 139:19—Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God! O men of blood, depart from me!

 

God is all-knowing, ever-present, and all-powerful. There is none like him. And as our sermon text this weekend will make clear, God in all his knowledge, immensity, and power, well, he can do whatever he wants.

 

Psalm 135:5–6—For I know that the Lord is great, and that our Lord is above all gods. Whatever the Lord pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps.

 

Given all of this, I ask again: How can we be like God? How can we be like God when there is literally, none like him? He has all knowledge. We don’t and never will (No matter how advanced our AI). He is everywhere at once. We can never be, though we might try on the regular. He has all power. Though we might like to think we have some power, if he has it all, we actually have none save what he gives us. And, in his greatness, God does whatever he pleases. Another impossible task for us. Even if we did have the ability to do whatever we pleased, it probably wouldn’t go over so well. How, then, can we be like God? Let’s look at again at Ephesians 5:1 and consider the context and how it points to God’s generosity.

 

God’s Generosity

Ephesians 5:1 fits into a context of wondrous generosity. Do you see it? “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.” Imitating God means being his children, his family. As children of God, there is a family resemblance. God’s children will look like him. In the immediate context of this passage, Paul exhorts the Ephesians to “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24). When Paul exhorts the Ephesians to be “imitators of God”, then, he is exhorting them to be who God made them to be. They should turn from sin and walk in the righteousness and holiness of God. And the same is true for us. As God’s loved children, we strive to look like our Father in righteousness and holiness. So indeed, we can imitate God in this way. But where’s this wondrous generosity I mentioned? Let’s dig deeper. How did we even become his children in the first place? Consider the next verse.

 

Ephesians 5:2—And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

 

This passage reveals another attribute of God: generosity. What does God do with all his freedom as the greatest being? God, in all his knowledge, in all his immensity, in all his power, in his perfect freedom, makes us, his lowly creatures and rebels against him, his children through the perfect love in the person of his Son, Jesus. And what was the nature of that love? Generosity. God reveals his love for us in the giving of Jesus, who “gave himself up for us” (Ephesians 5:2) so that we could be God’s adopted, beloved children (Ephesians 1:5). This is the generosity of the gospel. And this generosity is multifaceted. Consider the generous gifts of God in the gospel of Jesus.

In the gospel, God gives us the gift of his very own Son, Jesus.

 

  • John 3:16—For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

 

  • John 4:10— If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.

 

In the gospel, God justifies us, lavishes on us righteousness, and gives us eternal life.

 

  • Romans 5:16–17—And the free gift is not like the result of that one man’s sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brought justification. For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.

 

  • Romans 6:23—For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

In the gospel, God gives us the Holy Spirit to open our eyes to Jesus, to remind us of his ways, and to empower us for gospel witness.

 

  • John 15:26—But when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me.

 

  • John 14:26—But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.

 

  • Acts 1:8—But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

 

  • Acts 2:38—And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

This list could go on and on, but the point is clear. God has been inconceivably generous to us.

Imitate God’s Generosity

So how do we imitate God? We, as Ephesians 5:1–2 suggests, act like God’s children. Certainly, then, we imitate God by being holy and righteous in our ways (Ephesians 4:24). But we also imitate God’s generosity. Indeed, this can look like generous giving out of our material resources, as Paul exhorts the Corinthians to do (2 Corinthians 8:9; 9:13–15). But, we also imitate God’s generosity by giving to others what he gave us to make us his children in the first place. God in all his knowledge, immensity, power, and freedom delighted to be generous to us. He made us his family by generously giving us the gift of the gospel through his Son, Jesus, by the Holy Spirit (Mark 3:34–35). God’s gospel generosity, then, sets us up to give to others the most generous gift we can: the gospel of Jesus. By giving ourselves up to the task of giving the gift of Jesus in the gospel to others, we love as Christ loved us. We love with a love marked by generosity. In this way, we imitate God.

 

Conclusion

From the fountainhead of God’s generosity flows Christian, gospel generosity. In all his greatness, God delighted to be generous to us. And, through his generous gift of the gospel, God has made us his family where we were once his enemies. Therefore, while we may not be able to imitate God’s divine attributes of knowledge, immensity, and power, we can imitate his divine generosity by passing on this gospel gift to others. This is the greatest act of generosity we can perform. This is who God made us to be, his generous gospel giving family. So let’s be like our Father and generously give the gift of Jesus to the world.

Parents, Children, and Education: Rights or Responsibilities?

Parental rights are a key issue this election season – particularly with respect to what happens in public school classrooms. Former Virginia governor Terry McAuliffe stated in a debate last year, “I don’t think parents should be telling schools what they should teach.” He then lost the election to Glenn Youngkin by a substantial margin. Advocacy groups such as ParentalRights.org are promoting this issue at the national, state, and local levels, emphasizing locally the importance of school board elections.

There are indeed dangers to parents in our wider society. For example, some legal scholars are promoting a theory that parents’ rights are conferred by the state. One of these, Professor James Dwyer of William and Mary, says, “The reason parent-child relationships exist is because the state confers legal parenthood…. It is the state that is empowering parents to do anything with children.” Such theories are part of a larger movement (documented by Carl Trueman among others) that denigrates the family, exalts the state, and promotes the idea that we must discover who we are by looking inside ourselves.

Scripture presents a contrasting picture of the relationship between parents and children. But I would not label the Scriptural viewpoint as “parental rights.” It’s much closer to “parental responsibilities.”

Psalm 127:3 is key: “Behold, children are a gift [or “heritage”] from the LORD” (NAS). Note that there is no mention of the state in this verse! Children are created by God; they belong to God; He grants them to parents as gifts; and He entrusts parents’ with their care, their provision, their upbringing. Parents thus have the joy of playing a part in another’s story – an intensive, guiding part for 15 or 20 years, then an advisory part.

Certainly in fulfilling that role granted by God, parents have implied rights.

But the responsibilities are much clearer biblically than the rights. Consider the questions we ask parents at baby and child dedications. We never mention of rights; there is, however, a lengthy list of responsibilities found in Scripture, including:

Do you pledge as parents that, with God’s fatherly help, you will bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, making every reasonable effort, with patience and love, to build the Word of God, the character of Christ and the joy of the Lord into their lives?

God calls every parent to the task of training up children (Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4). Parents here make a commitment to help their children live lives of personal obedience. Yet personal obedience is not the goal; faith is the goal. Through learning obedience to loving parents, our children can learn the joy of obedience to a loving God; this can then be a means of grace that God uses to bring the children to faith, and that very faith will bear fruit in genuine Christian obedience.

We also ask:

Do you promise to provide, through God’s blessing, for their physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs, looking to your own heavenly Father for the wisdom, love and strength to serve them and not use them?

We as parents are tempted to use our children: As status symbols, as props for our egos, as accomplishments, as ways to succeed vicariously where we failed in our younger years. But biblically we are to provide for our children and serve them – not serving under them, but so to lead them that they grow into independent adults who by God’s grace love Jesus Christ, put Him first, and serve productively in society.

Now, if parents have the responsibility to train their children and to provide for the intellectual needs, they clearly are responsible for their children’s education. They are responsible for deciding how their children can be best educated. Some before God will choose to educate them at home; others will think it best to delegate part of their children’s education to a private or public school. But whatever the choice, the parents are responsible. God has entrusted them with their child. They must arrange for that child to be well-educated, intellectually, spiritually, and socially. To the extent that they delegate part of that responsibility to others, they must know what is being taught, how it Is being taught, and then in the home correct or combat any falsehoods or half-truths propagated in the school. Parents as a group, therefore, can and should influence what is taught in schools.

Now, the state does have a role in the lives of children. Most clearly the state has a responsibility to protect all citizens from law-breakers – and that includes protecting children from parents who clearly abuse or harm their children. The state also has a civic interest in seeing that children receive sufficient education to be good citizens. But the family precedes the state. Furthermore, as G.K. Chesterton wrote, the family is the “only state that creates and loves its citizens.” The governing state should rightly defer to parents on education and childrearing in general, acknowledging that the great majority of parents will do a better job of raising their children than any state institution. Laws for dealing with the exceptional cases of child abuse should not be extended to cases in which parents simply have chosen to raise children in a way contrary to the state’s preferred way.

When the Pinckney children were young, we had an interesting annual interchange in this regard with our local school superintendent in Massachusetts. As homeschoolers, we were required by state law to ask for approval from our superintendent. But before God, Beth and I did not believe the superintendent had the right or responsibility to judge whether or not we were fit to school our children. At the same time, we wanted to have a cooperative relationship with the schools in town and were quite willing to listen to any advice or counsel they might give. So, every year, we wrote a letter informing our superintendent of our decision to homeschool, asking if they had any counsel, but explicitly not asking for approval. And then a few weeks later, we received a return letter approving our homeschool. In this way, everyone was kept happy.

So, parents: Rejoice in the responsibility God has given you to raise your children. Take it seriously, with all its trials and pressures. In a few short years this season of your life will end, and you’ll feel as Beth and I did when our youngest left home: “Like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart – your abdomen is open and someone is cutting away at your guts.”

I encourage all of you – vote wisely this week, especially taking into account candidates’ views on education and parental rights.

But may we as a church stand alongside one another and assist one another in raising these precious children to know “the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit,” to His great glory and praise (2 Corinthians 13:14).

The Moon is Always Round: Faith in the Goodness of God After Losing a Child

[On the April 26 edition of the “Life and Books and Everything” podcast, Kevin DeYoung conducts a wide-ranging interview with Westminster Seminary professor Jonathan Gibson – author of several books, including Be Thou My Vision (which I recommended recently) and an excellent children’s book, The Moon is Always Round. DeYoung prompts Gibson to tell of the personal tragedy that led to the writing of this book. This excerpt begins 41 minutes into the podcast – Coty]

When Ben was about three, we were living in Cambridge [England]…. He loved to look up at the moon at night. So we would always hold him up at the window and look for the moon and say, “What shape is the moon, Ben?” He’d say it’s a crescent moon, half moon, three-quarter moon. Then I’d say, “What shape is the moon always?” And he would say, “The moon is always round.” I told him to say that. And then I’d say, “What does that mean?” And he would say, “God is always good.”… Even when you can’t see the whole of the moon, the moon is always round; even when you can’t understand all of God’s goodness in a certain situation in life, God is always good.

But little did I know that six months later it would be quite providential….  We were expecting our daughter, Leila, and she was due on the Lord’s Day, 20 March 2016. But on the Lord’s Day 13 March, … she departed this earth…. We woke up and Jackie said there’s something not right, so we went to the hospital and had the scan and confirmed that there was no heartbeat…. Our world fell apart…. We had always heard of these situations of … late-term … still birth, but … all of a sudden were thrust into it. Leila was still born four days later on St Patrick’s day, 17 March.…

We brought Ben to the hospital to meet her. We spent the afternoon with her and I drove him home that night…. In the car out of nowhere – he’s three and a half – he says to me from the back seat, “Daddy, will Mommy ever grow a baby that wakes up?” See, he had held Leila – he saw that she was just very still, eyes closed. I said, “Ben, I don’t know, but let’s pray that she does.” And then he said, “Why isn’t Leila coming home?” And I said, “Well, because Jesus called her name and she went to Him.” And he said, “After she’s been with Jesus for a few days, will she come to us?” And I said, “No, Ben, when you’re with Jesus you don’t want to go anywhere else.” And then he said, “Does she not like us?” And I said, “No, she does like us, she just likes Jesus more…. We’re going to have to go to them one day. She’s not coming back to us.”… And Ben said, “Daddy, why isn’t she coming home?”… I said, “Ben, I don’t really know why, but … you remember the moon? What shape is the moon, Ben?” And he said, “The moon is always round.” And I said, “What does that mean?” He said, “God is always good.” And I said, “Tonight, Ben, it’s hard to see the moon at all really, but we’ve got to remember that God is good and He has His reason why Leila’s gone to heaven.”…

It was actually quite a joyful day to meet Leila – nine months expectation. To meet her, to hold her…. We could see God’s goodness and giving us a daughter. We got to meet her, name her. But then there was this other half of the moon I couldn’t see…. I couldn’t believe the profound conversation I’d had with Ben in the car…. I just decided to start writing this kid’s story…. So hence was born the book The Moon is Always Round….

At her funeral, … Ian Hamilton had this throwaway line where he said Leila’s was a glorious testimony. She pointed us all to God, she pointed us all to another world. And then he … said, “Leila the evangelist.” That’s what we call her. We hear quite often throughout the year letters, emails from people who have been blessed by that book who’ve sadly had similar experiences, and we just always think Leila the evangelist, she being dead yet speaks….

They did an autopsy afterwards and found nothing wrong with her. Fifty percent of stillbirths are a mystery to the medical profession….

So good has come out of it. The moon is always round. The Lord has used our sore providence to minister to others. We still miss her greatly. We just had our sixth anniversary of her not being with us….

Each person’s valley is their valley and I think that’s what people need to respect and be aware of…. With a still birth you get to meet them, you get to hold them, you get to see who they look like. You carry their little body in a white coffin into church, you put that body in a grave. In that sense it gives them great dignity…. On my books … it says I have four children, and Leila’s one of those four…. One of the great pains for a parent is we all love to talk about our children, we love to put photos up of them on Twitter, Facebook, email them to people. But nobody gets to see your stillborn child, and that’s a great sadness…. You think I’ve only got three children. I have four children. I held my daughter.

Doug Kelly wrote to me whenever Leila died. He had a still birth, a sixth child, and he wrote to me, “You have just been given the strange stewardship of a quiet grief.” I’ve never forgotten that line. I have friends at seminary here, … and their daughter is six years old and I’ll often look at their girl and I’ll think, wow, Leila would be running around with her…. But she’s not here. So it’s this hidden grief that’s very hard to articulate at times, but it’s very real. And the encouragement I give to people is: If you know someone who’s lost a stillborn child, ask them their name…. Just to ask them their name and use their name in conversation if you’re talking about the child. Don’t just talk about the baby they lost or we’re sorry for your loss… Say, “We’re sorry Leila died.” … Be personal and talk about them like they’re actually a real person, because they are….

Look up in the sky. You can’t see the moon tonight. You see just a sliver, but it’s not any less round, it’s not any less brilliant than it always is.

[You can watch and listen to Ben – several years older – read the book at this link.]

 

Rejoice Exceedingly with Great Joy!

Charlotte airport arrivals, Tuesday, almost midnight. My 3-year-old grandson Simon hasn’t seen me for four months. Pushed in his stroller around a corner, he notices me. His face lights up. Breaking into a huge smile, he cries out, “Papa!” He laughs and snuggles up against me.

I am near tears (a not uncommon occurrence these days!). Seeing me, Simon rejoices exceedingly with great joy.

Matthew uses those words to describe the wise men’s reaction when the star leads them to the infant King (Matthew 2:10). They have traveled far to worship Him, and they rejoice to see Him at long last.  Similarly, the angel tells the shepherds “good news of great joy” – their Savior is born, and they can see Him nearby, in Bethlehem (Luke 2:10).

In our present age, we do not yet have the joy of seeing Jesus in person. Yet we do have joy – just as Simon eagerly anticipated seeing Beth and me when his parents told him weeks ago about the upcoming trip. But then, upon their arrival, Simon’s joy seeing us face to face both fulfilled and surpassed the joy of that eager expectation.

Peter describes this present joy: “Though you have not seen [Jesus], you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory” (1 Peter 1:8).

But this state of joyful expectation is temporary. Jesus will return. Our joy will be full. We will break into huge smiles and laugh. We will see Him face to face. We will see in that face the complete acceptance made possible by His sacrifice during His incarnation, the deep love that prompted that sacrifice, and His pure delight in welcoming us into His family forever.

This Christmas remember the “wonders of His love.” See this Jesus as your Savior, your King, your Treasure. And long to see Him face to face.

Aging with Grace

Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life. (Proverbs 16:31)

With both of my parents in their nineties and my father hospitalized for the last month, I have been drawn to Scriptures that speak particularly to those who are aged. Here is a selection to help those of us who have gray hairs today or who eventually will have them.

Examples of the elderly in Scripture:

Many of God’s servants are faithful to the end of their lives – and for some, their key role in biblical history takes place after they are advanced in years. These are great examples for us. Consider the lives of Abraham, Sarah, Moses, Samuel, Barzillai (2 Samuel 19), Elizabeth, Zechariah, Simeon, and Anna.

Others start well but are unfaithful in old age, serving as negative examples: consider especially Solomon (1 Kings 11) and Asa (2 Chronicles 16).

How can we be like the positive examples and unlike the negative? First, we must remember God’s promises. Here are six that are especially important to hold on to as we age:

First promise: “I will always carry you!”

Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all the remnant of the house of Israel, who have been borne by me from before your birth, carried from the womb; even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save. (Isaiah 46:3-4)

Second promise: “I will always lead you and guide you!”

And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them.  (Isaiah 42:16)

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. (Jude 24-25)

Third promise: “My goodness and love will pursue you always!”

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (Psalm 23:6)

But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children (Psalm 103:17)

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

Fourth promise: “In Me, you will always bear fruit!”

The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the LORD; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the LORD is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him. (Psalm 92:12-15)

He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. (Psalm 1:3)

He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit. (Jeremiah 17:8)

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)

Fifth promise: “By My power, you can resist temptations – including those that are particular to old age”

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Sixth promise: “In eternity, you will have pleasures forevermore at My right hand”

For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. (2 Corinthians 5:1)

For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:10-11)

After remembering God’s promises, cry out to Him in dependence every day:

First: Cry out to see Him:

One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. (Psalm 27:4)

[We must] run with endurance the race set out for us, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:1b-2a NET)

Second: Pray: “Teach us to number our days and to be satisfied with your love”

The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you? So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Return, O LORD! How long? Have pity on your servants! Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. (Psalm 90:10-14)

O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! (Psalm 39:4)

Third: Cry out asking Him to fulfill His promise to keep you and to use you to the end:

In you, O LORD, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame! …Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent…. For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O LORD, from my youth. Upon you I have leaned from before my birth; you are he who took me from my mother’s womb. My praise is continually of you…. O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come. (Psalm 71:1, 5-6, 9, 17-18)

Fourth: “Sustain me as you sustained the Apostle Paul to the end”

For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing. (2 Timothy 4:6-8)

May we all fight the good fight, finish the race, and keep the faith, to God’s glory through the strength He supplies by His Spirit because of Jesus.

(Scriptures are ESV except where noted)

 

 

Baby and Child Dedication: Questions to Parents and the Congregation

Tomorrow May 16 we have the privilege of dedicating six children to God. In addition, we will baptize eight.

Following the practice of Bethlehem Baptist in Minneapolis, we ask five questions of parents when they dedicate children:

1. Do you today recognize your children as gifts of God and give heartfelt thanks for God’s blessing?

This question is based on Psalm 127:3. God is the one who gives children; they belong to Him. God has the right to do with these children as He wishes. Thus Hannah says of baby Samuel in 1 Samuel 1:28, “So I have also dedicated him to the LORD; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the LORD.”

2. Do you now dedicate your children to the Lord who gave them to you, surrendering all worldly claims upon their lives in the hope that they will belong wholly to God?

A dedication does not bring about the salvation of the child, nor is a dedication a picture of the salvation of the child. It is not baptism. Instead: It is a set of solemn promises by the parents in the presence of the church, and an expression of faith and hope in God’s future grace.

3. Do you pledge as parents that, with God’s fatherly help, you will bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, making every reasonable effort, with patience and love, to build the Word of God, the character of Christ and the joy of the Lord into their lives?

God calls every parent to the task of training up children (Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4). Parents here make a commitment to help their children live lives of personal obedience. Yet personal obedience is not the goal; faith is the goal. Through learning obedience to loving parents, our children can learn the joy of obedience to a loving God; this can then be a means of grace that God uses to bring the children to faith, and that very faith will bear fruit in genuine Christian obedience. As parents, we are living out a similar responsibility to that of Ezekiel as watchmen (Ezekiel 3:17-19), setting examples, teaching, and warning our children.

4. Do you promise to provide, through God’s blessing, for their physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs, looking to your own heavenly Father for the wisdom, love and strength to serve them and not use them?

We as parents are tempted to use our children: As status symbols, as props for our egos, as accomplishments, as ways to succeed vicariously where we failed in our younger years. But biblically we are to provide for our children and serve them – not serving under them, but so to lead them that they grow into independent adults who by God’s grace love Jesus Christ and put Him first. This last goal is the subject of the final question:

5. Do you promise, God helping you, to make it your regular prayer that, by God’s grace, they will come to trust in Jesus Christ alone for the forgiveness of their sins and for the fulfillment of all God’s promises to them, even eternal life; and in this faith follow Jesus as Lord and obey his teachings?

After asking the parents these questions, we ask the members of the church:

Do you pledge to pray for these little ones, and pledge to help these parents to live up to their promises?

Then an elder prays these words individually over each child being dedicated.

Together with your parents, who love you dearly, and with this people who also love you and care about the outcome of your faith, I dedicate you to God, surrendering together with them all worldly claims upon your life, in the hope that you will belong wholly to God by His grace forever.

My Excellent Wife, My Valentine

[This devotion is a shortened, edited version of the sermon preached December 29, 2019, our fortieth wedding anniversary. You can listen to that sermon via this link.]

In the afternoon of December 29, 1979, Beth and I were married.

Though we didn’t really understand what was happening, in that ceremony God made the two one (Matthew 19:6).

In the following days, we spent some time at Surfside Beach, pondering what had happened. I had thought that since we already loved each other, since we already were committed to each other, the ceremony would just act to formalize our relationship for others; the relationship itself wouldn’t change all that much.

How wrong I was. How ignorant of biblical truth. I began to get a taste of that truth during those days at Surfside.

As Tolstoy writes in Anna Karenina concerning a fight between spouses early in a good marriage:

It was then that [Levin] clearly understood for the first time what he had failed to understand when he led [Kitty] out of the church after the wedding. He understood that she was not only close to him, but that he could not now tell where she ended and he began. He realized it from the agonizing feeling of division into two parts which he experienced at the moment. He felt hurt, but he immediately realized that he could not be offended with her because she was himself.

Beth and I have been one now for forty years. Out of that unity, I want to fulfill Romans 12:10 by showing honor to Beth, this excellent wife, via Proverbs 31.

In Proverbs 7, a father warns his son against the allure and call of an adulterous wife. In contrast, Proverbs 8 consists of the call of another woman: Wisdom personified. Lady Wisdom says that to fear the Lord not only leads to our avoiding evil but to our hating it (Proverbs 8:13).

Then Proverbs 9 presents both Lady Wisdom and Dame Folly calling out to us. Wisdom calls us to find true life in following God; Folly calls us to rebel against Him, which leads to death.

So we must listen to Lady Wisdom, wisdom personified, and reject Dame Folly.

Proverbs 31 concludes the book, and once again calls upon us to look to a woman for wisdom. But in this chapter we look not to wisdom personified in the abstract, but to wisdom lived out in our mothers and our wives. This chapter gives us examples of different ways wives and mothers are like Lady Wisdom, so that we might learn to live wisely ourselves day by day, whether we are male or female, old or young, married or single.

So now let’s turn to the text. I’ll identify nine characteristics of the excellent wife, and share some examples of how Beth lives the out.

First: The excellent wife is wise, fearing the Lord

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

The theme of Proverbs is that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge and wisdom. Thus, we should train our daughters and sons to have such fear, and praise those who live it out.

But often instead we reserve our greatest praise of others for their charm and physical beauty.

Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with charm and beauty. However, Dame Folly can appear charming and beautiful. Thus charm and beauty can be deceitful, for they promise what they on their own cannot deliver: endless joy in delighting in physical beauty or an engaging personality. Physical beauty will fade; every personality is flawed – for all have sinned. So if you trust in charm and physical beauty, you will be disappointed.

Understand: It is good and right for me to delight in Beth’s physical beauty; it is good and right for me to be attracted by her charm. Indeed, I should cultivate those desires, and deepen them towards her (see this sermon on Proverbs 5 and 6 text audio). But her beauty and charm are not deceptive because she fears the Lord, because she has biblical wisdom. So that is the most important reason to praise her

Second: The wife is excellent and strong

“An excellent wife who can find?”  (Proverbs 31:10). “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” (Proverbs 31:29). Other translations render the the word translated “excellent” as “noble” or “virtuous.” Yet the underlying Hebrew word includes a connotation that none of those English words communicate: Strong. Indeed, “strength” is the root meaning of the Hebrew word. It is used, for example of Gideon in the phrase translated “mighty man of valor” (Judges 6:12). One translator thus translates the word, “valiant.”

The wife’s strength is emphasized in Proverbs 31:17 (“She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong”) and Proverbs 31:25 (“Strength and dignity [or ‘majesty’]) are her clothing.”)

So this woman is virtuous, honorable, and strong; she has the moral character and fortitude to be a blessing to her family and to her society.

I could tell multiple stories of Beth displaying such strength, but one in particular stands out. In August of 2001, we flew to Cameroon to serve for an academic year at a seminary. The day after our arrival, we apportioned our sixteen boxes of luggage and six children in two vans to make the eight-hour drive from Douala to Bamenda. I was in the van driven by Victor, together with three sons including our youngest, six-year-old Joel. The other van with Beth and the rest of the family had left Douala prior to us.

About two hours into the trip, we came around a corner to find a pickup laden with fruit making a U-turn right in front of us. Victor tried to avoid the vehicle, but we hit the right rear of the truck hard. Something smashed the windshield; our luggage rammed forward, breaking the anchors in the rear seat, pushing it against the front seats. I jumped out of the car and opened the rear door. My two older boys were shaken and somewhat bloodied, but seemed ok. Joel, however, had a deep puncture wound in his leg. The calf was hard as a rock from internal bleeding. I feared it might be broken.

In an unfamiliar country, with an injured child, uncertain of what to do, I was at a loss. But by the grace of God the other van, having stopped at a computer store, arrived about five minutes after the accident.

Beth immediately displayed her strength. Churning on the inside, she remained calm. She was steady. She was decisive. Joel did not seem to be in immediate danger – we could go on to Bamenda where much better medical care was available.

That night in an email to supporters, I wrote: “[I was] so thankful to have her there, with her always cool head and uncommon good sense.”

Strength and dignity are her clothing.

Third: The excellent wife is trustworthy

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:11-12)

Verse 12 is the foundation of verse 11. Because the husband knows she is doing him good, not harm, always, he trusts her.

At one point a few years ago I was upset about something Beth had said or done that could be interpreted as unsupportive. I felt as if she wasn’t behind me. So I communicated this to her at some length. When I finally stopped talking, she initially didn’t say anything, instead just looking at me. Then very calmly, very graciously, she simply said, “After all these years, don’t you know me?”

I did know her then – and she called me back to what I knew.

I trust her completely. I can hardly imagine not trusting her.

Fourth: The excellent wife speaks wisdom

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (Proverbs 31:26)

It’s possible to be wise without communicating that wisdom. Wise instruction is as important as wise actions.

The phrase rendered “teaching of kindness” in the ESV is difficult to translate; others render it “law of kindness,” “faithful instruction,” or “loving instruction.” The main idea: How do you live a life of loyal love before your spouse, your family, your neighbors, and society?

Titus 2:3-4 gives a partial answer: Older women are “to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children.” It has been my great privilege to see Beth live this out in private conversations, in pre-marital counseling, in crisis counseling, and in our family.

Fifth: The excellent wife is a diligent provider

The point here is not simply that she meets physical needs. Rather, she loves her family by providing food and clothing.

Much of the chapter details how she does this:

  • She “works with willing hands” (Proverbs 31:13)
  • “She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness” (Proverbs 31:27)
  • She brings food, makes cloth, makes bed coverings, and sells garments she has made (Proverbs 31:14, 19, 22, 24)
  • “She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household” (Proverbs 31:15)

We all are faced with an abundance of temptations to fritter away our time. We can spend hours and hours flipping through items on our phone, seeking entertainment and thrills, keeping up with the latest news or gossip or sports information, to no good effect.

Beth is much like this Proverbs 31 wife. A relaxing evening for her is spent in her sewing studio, or reading a good book – often a book recommended by one of her children or friends, thus deepening that relationship.

Sixth: Through her diligence, her household is safe and secure

  • “She laughs at the time to come” (Proverbs 31:25).
  • “She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet (Proverbs 31:21).

These verses help us properly interpret this often misunderstood verse:

“Her lamp does not go out at night” (Proverbs 31:18).

Verse 18 refers not to her diligence, but to the security of her household. The lamp of the household’s prosperity continues even in dark times

Remember, Scripture tells us proper sleep is a gift of God: “It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep” (Psalm 127:2). Proverbs 31 commends disciplined, productive work, accompanied by restful sleep, as you trust in the Lord.

Seventh: She is generous and sincerely concerned

“She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy” (Proverbs 31:20).

Generosity includes much more than providing monetary support. We can give money and not be “generous” in a biblical sense (see this sermon from 2014 text audio).

Beth lives out the showing of sincere concern in practical ways. Several years ago she reached out to a young Burmese mother. After learning who she was and what she was missing, she began to teach her to sew. Now the Make Welcome sewing ministry teaches dozens of students; many make clothes for themselves and their families, and several graduates are employed doing what they love.

Make Welcome is about much more than money and clothes, however. The time together produces joy, smiles, friendships, healing, safety – and they all hear of Jesus, whatever their religious background.

Eighth: The excellent wife blesses her husband

“Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. (Proverbs 31:23)

The husband is respected because of what he has become through his wife. Just so in our marriage. I am a far better pastor, a far better father, and a far better son because of who Beth is, because of how she has influenced me, because of how God has changed me through her.

Ninth: So her family praises her

“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’” (Proverbs 31:28-29)

What does the husband mean by, “You surpass them all”?

He is not making an objective, comparative statement of fact: “I have investigated all other wives, all other women, and you come out on top!” That would be impossible – but that also would be of zero importance in God’s economy (rather akin to Jesus’ disciples arguing about who is the greatest).

Rather, “You surpass them all” is similar to the statement about sexual desire in Proverbs 5:19:  “Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” It is good and right for my sexual desires to flow deeply towards Beth; indeed, I should work to deepen those desires, yet keep them well-channeled toward her alone.

So the message from Proverbs 5 is: “I have the privilege of knowing you sexually in ways no one else can, and I have the deepest delight in who you are, who we are together.”

The similar message of Proverbs 31 is: “I have the privilege of knowing your character, your love, your wisdom in ways no one else can, and I have the deepest delight in who you are, who we are together.”

And to you, Beth, I add: Some can give an appearance of deep wisdom and love for others. I see you at all times – I see you even at your worst. And I praise you for genuine wisdom and genuine love.

So husbands and families: Delight in the way God has used and strengthened your excellent wife or mother. Thank Him for her fear of Him for the wisdom she therefore has. State your appreciation for the role she plays in society, in your family, and in your personal life.

So here we are, forty years into our marriage. God took two naïve young people and made us one; He has guarded that unity these four decades. Maybe He will give us another four decades of marriage. Maybe we have little additional time together.

But, Beth: To live as one with you has been a huge privilege. I delight in who you are, in how you reflect the person of Jesus, in how you love me when I am unlovable, in your gracious wisdom and diligent service, in your genuine beauty and enduring charm, in your love for our Savior and your delight in Him.

Thank you for forty years of ever-deepening delight.

All of you, ask: What other women do I know who exemplify some aspects of this practical wisdom?

  • Praise them.
  • Emulate them.
  • Encourage them.
  • Listen to their instruction in how to love.

For the excellent wife of Proverbs 31 fears the Lord. She knows that apart from God’s grace, there is no hope for her and others. She knows that Lady Wisdom is a pointer to Jesus: He calls. He says, “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). The excellent wife knows rest is found nowhere else, only endless striving or destructive dissipation. She knows that various deceitful calls of Folly all lead us away from dependence on the Lord Jesus.

So listen to her. Like her, fear the Lord. And thereby deserve the praise that accords to the excellent wife.

How to Have Riches and Joy

People long for riches and joy in their lives. They study. They work hard. They save and invest. They try to marry well. They buy good houses, nice cars. They try to overcome bad habits.

They also fall for get-rich-quick schemes, quack medical cures, and government lottery advertisements.

Jesus turns all this on its head – and then tells us how to find true riches and true joy. Let’s delve into what He says in chapter 10 of Mark’s gospel.

A rich young man has just approached Jesus, asking what he must do to inherit eternal life. Jesus tells him to obey the commandments, which he claims to have done. Jesus looks at him, loves him, and tells him to go, sell all he has, give the proceeds to the poor, and to come and follow Him. But the man goes away sorrowful, because he has great possessions (Mark 10:17-22).

Material riches were not the way to joy for this young man. Indeed, they were not even true riches.

Jesus then says, “How hard it will be for the rich to enter the kingdom of God” (Mark 10:23).

In virtually every culture, the rich are looked up to, are seen as lucky or blessed by God, and most people desire to be rich. But Jesus says we are to pity them, for it is impossible for them to enter the kingdom of God.

Why do riches make entering the kingdom of God so difficult?

The most important barrier for entering the kingdom is the illusion of control provided by wealth. Poor people in poor countries (including all countries in the ancient world) acknowledge that they are at the mercy of the elements. Illness, natural disasters, even a bad rainy season can mean suffering or death for members of the family. Today in the poorest countries about one child in five dies before age five; in the ancient world, those numbers were undoubtedly higher. So the poor know that they cannot control these powers that determine their fate.

On the other hand, the rich tend to think that they can protect themselves, that they can use their money and influence to make sure that they do not suffer. As Jesus relates in Luke 12:19, the rich fool says to himself, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; take your ease, eat, drink, be merry.’ He thought he was in control; he thought he was now safe from the influence of random events. But that very night God took his life.

And who can fall prey to such an illusion of control? The great majority of Americans – including you and me. Put yourself in the position of those who are listening to Jesus say these words. How would they label someone who:

  • Lives in a house with central heating and indoor plumbing;
  • Has clean cold and hot water flowing through taps;
  • Is in no danger of going hungry;
  • Has more than 2 sets of clothes;
  • Has access to cures for all of the most common diseases.

Imagine! Wouldn’t such a person be considered rich indeed? So in comparison to those listening to Jesus, we all undoubtedly are incredibly rich.

So Jesus’ warning is for us: How hard it is for us to enter the kingdom of God – because of our supposed self-sufficiency, our security.

Furthermore, possessions enslave us. We become used to our possessions; we start calling our desires “needs” – and then we won’t even consider following Jesus in a way that would lead to:

  • A less prestigious job, or no job
  • A lower salary, or no salary
  • A smaller house, or no place at all to call home

We begin to require God to support us in the manner to which we have become accustomed.

Sometimes we justify this attitude by referring to our children: “I can’t do that; what would become of my children?” But what do our children need more than a parent who follows Jesus, wherever He may lead?

Ray Stedman uses an apt phrase to describe our condition, saying we are “addicted to comfort and ease.”

So if we are addicted to comfort and ease, if we depend on riches, if we find our security there instead of in our relationship to God – mightn’t Jesus be saying to us what He said to the rich young man: “Give up what you are addicted to! Come, follow Me!”

What happens if you hear that, and do it? Do you lose security? Do you lose out on joy? This brings us to Mark 10:28-31:

Peter began to say to Him, “Behold, we have left everything and followed You.” Jesus said, “Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or farms, for My sake and for the gospel’s sake, but that he shall receive a hundred times as much now in the present age, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and farms, along with persecutions; and in the age to come, eternal life. “But many who are first, will be last; and the last, first.” (NASB)

Focus on these profound statements. Meditate on them. Pore over them. Let them sink into you.

  • No one.
  • Who has left anything, anything material or relational.
  • For what reason? Not to make oneself look good, or to win applause, but for Jesus’ sake and for the gospel.
  • Who will not have how much? One hundred times as much! Listen, this isn’t the 25% annual return you might get for a few years in a booming stock market: the promise is that you will get one hundred times as much.
  • When? When will we get this? In heaven, after we die? No! We will get one hundred times as much NOW! In the present age!
  • Is that all? No, plus you will have eternal life, what the rich young man wanted all along.

Jesus says in effect, “Whatever you give up for me now, you will receive one hundred times as much now – and billions times as much in the age to come.”

I think we expect Jesus to make the eschatological promise, the promise of future joy in eternity with Him. We don’t comprehend all that entails, we certainly can’t grasp what that will be like, but we know that promise.

We know, furthermore, that we are better off risen with Christ than we can ever be in this life; as Paul says, “For me to live is Christ, to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21).

The promise of eternal joy is great and precious. But Jesus promises more than that here. He says that whatever we give up, we will receive one hundred times more in the present age. What could He possibly mean by that?

Does He mean that if I give the church $4,000, I’ll get back $400,000? Some health, wealth, and prosperity preachers use these verses as a proof text for that idea. But clearly if that’s what Jesus meant, there was no reason for the rich young man to walk away. Jesus could simply have said, “Look, give all this away, and within a few years you’ll have one hundred times as much money, wealth, and prestige. That’s quite an investment!” Such a promise would appeal to his greed – the very problem he faced.

Part of the promise surely is that we have eternal life right now. We have “joy unspeakable” (1 Peter 1:8) because of our relationship to God; we have the love, joy, and peace the world longs for because the Spirit dwells in us. We have a true intimacy, a true fellowship with one another because He has made us brothers and sisters in Him. All this is much more valuable than anything we may give up.

But Jesus’ statement can’t mean only that our brothers and sisters multiply in the family of God, for He includes material goods in His promise: farms and houses.

This is what Jesus is saying; this is the key truth we need to take to heart: If you give all you have to the Lord, you will receive one hundred times more joy and pleasure from the material possessions you have than you would have received from the entire hoard if you had given nothing away.

Think about that statement. Some of you might be thinking, “Oh, is that all He means? I thought by giving I was going to get more!”

You are going to get more – more of what you really want! Why do we want possessions anyway? Because of the joy, pleasure, and security they give us, right? God promises us complete security; nothing can harm us until we have completed His calling on us in this world, and then we will be received by Him with great rejoicing. And in this life, He promises us the joy and pleasure we really want, that we try to get from hoarding possessions.

Why will we get more joy and pleasure from a few possessions when we follow Jesus, than we would get from vast hoards of possessions if we don’t follow Him? Consider these reasons:

(1) Our possessions can easily become our master. We worry about losing them, we devote time and energy to amassing them, and, in the end, they can make us miserable. Many wealthy men have been among the most miserable who ever lived.

(2) Even more importantly, we now enjoy what we have because we know it is all a gift from someone who loves us dearly. Think, now: What possessions do you value most? For many of us, we value most not the expensive item we bought for ourselves, but some little trifle that was given to us by a loved one. Perhaps a picture drawn by a three-year-old, perhaps a ring, or necklace, or a letter from your husband; perhaps the gift your parents gave you when you left home. These may not be worth much monetarily, but they are most valuable because they represent the love of another.

The Christian knows that everything we own is a gift from the One who loves us more than we can imagine. So even a few possessions can generate in our hearts unspeakable joy, because they all represent His love. So instead of considering these possessions as things we’ve earned, as things we deserve, we consider everything a special gift of love from the King of the Universe. We deserve nothing – rather, we deserve eternal punishment in hell — yet look what He gives us! Air to breath, warmth at night, food to eat, covering for our bodies! Every minute we live, then, we can thank God for His great mercy, for the love He shows us in everything that we used to take for granted.

Everything around us tempts us to pursue a type of life that, in the end, will never satisfy. Jesus calls us to give up that false life so that we might find true life, true joy, true love in a relationship with Him. And when we do that, we find that we now have all the love, joy, peace, and security that we used to seek through the ways of the world – at least 100 times as much as we had before. And our hearts are overflowing in thanks and praise to the One who gives us so much that we don’t deserve.

There is one note of discord in Jesus’ statement, however. He says this gift of 100 times as much as we give up will be accompanied by persecutions. Why does He say this? How is it consistent with a life of love, joy, and peace?

Paul writes 2nd Timothy shortly before his death. In chapter 4 he writes: ‘I am already being poured out as a drink offering” – an apt figure for one who would be beheaded. But then later in the chapter he writes, “The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack” (2 Timothy 4:18). Paul writes this even though he knows he will be executed. The inescapable conclusion: His execution is not an evil attack.

Just so with us:

  • When it is for our good and His glory, he lavishes safety and relationships and possessions and worldly success on us.
  • When it is for our good and His glory, he lavishes persecutions and trials and troubles on us.
  • When it is for our good and His glory he lavishes physical death on us.

God constantly uses what men intend for evil for His own good purposes. Whatever happens, He is in control; His purposes are beyond us, but He is always good, and always wise.

So this is Jesus’ command to us: Lose your false life; give it up. Yield all your plans, all your earthly desires, all your security to Him. Lose your life for Jesus, for the gospel. Then step forward – knowing that God will be with you. You will face trial, troubles, and tribulations. But amidst all that, He will give you a joy beyond measure even in this life, as you overflow with thanksgiving for the uncountable good gifts, the true riches, He gives you daily. So follow Him – and find true riches and joy.

[This devotion is an edited version of part of this sermon preached in 1999.]

Dealing With Trials in Marriage

[By Carrie Vaughns. Carrie gave this devotion at Angela Otchere’s bridal shower on August 25. ]

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” – James 1:2-4

I’m sure many of us have heard sermons related to James 1:2 when James said to ‘count it all joy’ when we encounter trials. Typically, those sermons focus on the “joy” part. But what is ever said about the “when” part?  Notice that James doesn’t say “if” you meet trials. He says ‘WHEN you meet trials’. And then he follows that up by saying ‘trials of various kinds’. So in other words, you MOST DEFINITELY will face ALL types of trials in this life. And in marriage with two sinners in covenant relationship with each other for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do they part, the trials will be multiplied. So Angie: with this being said, I felt it would be good to talk about how best to prepare, before the trials in marriage come.

  • ELIMINATE “NEGATIVE THINKING” – When trials in marriage come our way, it’s very easy to entertain a negative thought, it’s very easy to justify a bitter attitude, and it’s very easy to harden our hearts toward our husbands. Those of us here who are married know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s not like we pray for negative thoughts and bitter attitudes towards our husbands. In the spur of the moment when the trial rears its head, these thoughts and attitudes just pop up out of nowhere! And if they aren’t dealt with, they could lead to hardness of heart, long term hardship and marital strife, and enmity against our husbands. But praise God that we have a remedy in scripture. In 2 Corinthians 10:5, Apostle Paul tells us to “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ”. Take EVERY single thought captive. Are we filling our minds and hearts with the Word of God or with ideas that are destructive?  Are we looking to apply biblical principles to everyday circumstances, or do we choose worry or condemnation as our default response?
  • CHECK YOUR PRIDE AT THE DOOR – Pride and insecurity form the root of many struggles in marriage. They manifest themselves in a number of ways: an unyielding desire to be right, not wanting to lose face with my spouse or others, a reluctance to admit needing help or wise counsel, a refusal to look at my own inadequacies and inconsistencies. Proverbs 16:18 says “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” When the heart is filled with pride, you will fall over and over and your marital struggles will increase more and more. We must always be examining our hearts; we must always pray and ask the Holy Spirit: Are there areas in our hearts that stubbornly refuse to bend to the Lord’s instruction due to pride? Also, constantly ask yourself: “Am I trusting the accountability partners God has placed in my life when they see a red flag that needs my attention?”
  • FORGIVE AND APOLOGIZE FREELY – Piggybacking off the pride theme from the last point: everyone in this room has at one time or another struggled with pride because our hearts can be very prideful. Pride causes us to not want to admit and apologize when we sin and causes us to not want to forgive and move on when we’ve been sinned against. So therefore, in marriage we have to LEARN how to apologize quickly and forgive our spouses. The ability to forgive and apologize is absolutely VITAL in marriage because when you have two flawed sinners living life together under one roof day in and day out, you are going to sin against one another. Over and over and over. So, you’ve got to be able to admit and apologize when you sin against your husband and you’ve got to be able to forgive and move on when he sins against you. And how do we do this? By being humble. Scripture tells us in James 4:6 ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ As we grow in humility, we will grow and learn to forgive when we’ve been sinned against and to admit, apologize, and repent when we’ve committed sin.
  • HONOR YOUR SPOUSE WITH YOUR WORDS – Always seek opportunities to honor, build up, and praise your husband because God has entrusted a lot of responsibilities to him as the head of the home and the leader of the family. He has a lot on his plate and he’ll need constant encouragement because this is not an easy path that God has called him to walk. However, there will come times in your marriage when you’ll have to confide in someone about issues, problems, and struggles that you and your husband are going through. And sometimes there may be things that are discussed that will cause your husband to be put in a negative light. While Scripture teaches us to seek wise counsel (Proverbs 12:15), it also warns us that, “a gossip goes around revealing a secret, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence” (Proverbs 11:13). It is wise to choose a small group of trusted advisors for accountability and counsel. However, failing to guard what you say about your husband to others (especially if it’s negative) is not wise at all.
  • SUBMISSION and UNITY – Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Pastor John Piper describes biblical submission like this: “Submission is the calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership, and to help carry it through according to her gifts.” As wives, we are to come alongside our husbands and to honor and affirm their leadership. We are also to make them feel appreciated, admired, respected and loved. It may sound easy but it can be quite challenging to do, especially in those moments when he’s not leading well and not loving you well. But that’s the call for us wives. And the beauty of the call is that our Sovereign God calls us to it and He provides us wives with sufficient grace to live it out. Our husbands get the encouragement, we get the joy, God gets the glory.
    Along with submission is unity. Two become one; you are equal with him. He is your ally, not your enemy. Theologian Matthew Henry beautifully describes marital unity like this: “The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”

Angie, these are just some things that I wanted to share with you as you get closer to the big day. Three weeks from today, you and Rob will say “I do” and commit to each other for life. And praise God that many of us will have the privilege of witnessing that! But rest assured, the marriage trials WILL come. So get ready. Hopefully there are things from this devotion that will help you prepare for them. And even though you have an adversary who hates marriage and would like nothing more than to see you fall from the trials and to try to separate what God has joined together, you serve a Sovereign God who loves you and Rob unconditionally and is faithful to uphold and sustain you through any trial and tribulation that you will face. May the Lord bIess you and keep you, sister!

The Path to Honor, the Path to Disgrace

What is the path to honor?

We don’t have to look far in our society to find those who have achieved considerable earthly honor through their hard work combined with their self-promotion. Whether in business, in politics, in sports and entertainment – and even within the Christian church – we see example after example of people working on their craft, marketing themselves, and thereby acquiring some degree of fame. There are many coaches, consultants, and schools who – for a fee – will teach you how to be among those who successfully exalt themselves.

But Scripture warns us, “God opposes the proud” (1 Peter 5:7); “everyone who exalts himself will be humbled” (Luke 14:11).

Yet God’s Word also gives us a promise in these same verses: God gives grace to the humble; he who humbles himself will be exalted.

Jesus tells a brief story to illustrate this point:

Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand?  And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. (Luke 14:31-32)

You are the first king. You have resources: Your physical abilities, your intelligence, your training and education, your experience, your skills, your contacts, your finances. Perhaps these are quite impressive compared to others. Like the first king with ten thousand, you can look at who you are and what you have and think: “I can go somewhere! I can exalt myself! I can achieve something!”

If you take the world’s advice and exalt yourself, you may well achieve a degree of honor for a time. Perhaps in a worldly sense you will acquire considerable fame because of great accomplishments.

Yet whether you realize it or not, by acting in this way you are advancing in war against the second king. And that second king is God Himself. For you are acting in pride – and as we saw, God opposes the proud. Furthermore, His fighting force is far beyond yours. If He opposes you, you will be humbled; you will be thrown down; in the end, you will lose all the fame, all the status, all the honor that you thought you had gained.

So like that first king going out to war, you have two options. The first option is to sue for peace. He will demand unconditional surrender to Jesus. This means that you will have to renounce all that you have (Luke 14:33). All that is yours becomes His: All your goods. All your family. All your time.

However, He then will give you His grace. He will exalt you. He will give you Jesus Himself – the greatest treasure, the greatest honor, the greatest joy.

That’s the first option. The cost is high. But the benefit is incalculable.

Your second option is to enter into battle with Him. To fight Him. To oppose Him.

If you choose option two, you will hold onto your fame and your resources a little longer compared to option one. While the battle is engaged, you can continue to be impressed with yourself. But your 10,000 cannot fight His hordes. The end is inevitable. He will overwhelm you. He will humble you. Option two is the path to disgrace. One day you will lose everything. And you will have to confess what you refused to acknowledge before: Jesus is indeed Lord (Philippians 2:10-11).

So note: Whether you choose option one or option two, eventually you lose all that you now have. That cost is the same.

But under option one, He exalts you. He lifts you up. He gives you what you never earned, what you clearly don’t deserve, what you can never be proud of: one hundred times more joy than you had from what you gave up, as well as the greatest gift of all: Himself, for all eternity (Mark 10:28-31).

So acknowledge what is true. Realize your position. You have no ability to achieve any lasting honor; if you resist Him, you will lose all. Humble yourself under God’s mighty hand. This is the path to honor. And the greatest honor is that He will give you what you could never earn: Himself.