“Do You Love Me?”

What is the defining question that someone who would be a disciple of Jesus must answer? Jesus’ interaction with Peter in John 21:15–19 points us to the answer.

In John 21:15–19, we see one of the more memorable scenes in all of Scripture—the risen Jesus restoring Peter. Recall, Peter had denied Jesus three times at the most critical time of Jesus’ ministry, the cross. The cross defines Jesus as Messiah, the Messiah that Peter was dedicating his life to. And at his Messiah’s defining moment, Peter abandoned and denied him. Now, on the shores of Galilee, the resurrected Jesus, having sought out Peter, sits down with him and some of the other disciples in order to restore him. Peter denied Jesus three times, and so, after breakfast, Jesus fixes his gaze on Peter and three times asks him a critical question: “Do you love me?” (John 21:15, 16, 17). Before considering this question, it might be helpful to consider what Jesus did not ask Peter.

  • Jesus did not ask: “Simon, son of John, do you know me?”
  • Jesus did not ask: “Simon, son of John, are you sorry?”
  • Jesus did not ask: “Simon, son of John, do you want my forgiveness?”
  • Jesus did not ask: “Simon, son of John, will you follow and obey me?

Each one of these questions is not necessarily a wrong or bad question. In fact these are appropriate questions to ask given Peter’s sin. However, they are not the ultimate question, that is, they do not get to the heart of what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. All of these questions are downstream from love for Jesus. Consider each in turn.

 

“Do you know me?”

Jesus could have asked, “Simon, son of John, do you know me?” This is natural because this reflects Peter’s denial. Peter denied that he knew Jesus. He denied that he had any relationship with him. So, we could have expected Jesus to ask, “Peter, do you know me?” as a sort of redo moment for Peter, who would answer, “Yes, Lord; you know that I know you.” But this doesn’t go far enough. You can know someone and be in relationship with someone and still not truly and rightly love them.

 

“Are you sorry for denying me?”

Jesus could have asked, “Simon, son of John, are you sorry?” This is natural to expect because when we wrong someone, we apologize. Peter sinned against Jesus, his teacher, his friend, and his Messiah. Peter should apologize. So Jesus could have asked, “Peter, are you sorry for denying me?” And Peter could have answered, “Yes, Lord; you know that I am sorry.” But this does not go far enough. You can be sorry because of the guilt you feel rather than sorry because you wronged someone you love. You can be sorry for wronging someone and at the same time not truly and rightly love them.

 

“Do you want my forgiveness?”

Jesus could have asked, “Simon, son of John, do you want my forgiveness?” This would be natural to expect in the same way it would be natural to expect Jesus to ask if Peter’s sorry. Peter sinned against his Messiah Jesus, and, therefore, would naturally want to apologize in order to receive forgiveness. So Jesus could have asked, “Peter, do you want my forgiveness?” To which Peter could have answered, “Yes, Lord; you know I want your forgiveness.” But again, this does not strike the heart of the matter. It is possible to want forgiveness merely for forgiveness’s sake. It is possible to want forgiveness to assuage one’s one conscience and nothing more. You can want forgiveness from someone and not want them. You can want forgiveness from someone and not truly and rightly love them.

 

“Will you follow and obey me?”

Jesus could have asked, “Simon, son of John, will you follow and obey me?” This would be expected because by his denial, Peter’s loyalty is now in question. So Jesus could have said, “Peter, will you follow and obey me?” To which Peter could have answered, “Yes, Lord; you know I will follow and obey you.” But once again, this question does not address the most pressing issue. For one can follow and obey out of a sense of duty and duty alone. You can follow and obey someone and not truly and rightly love them.

 

“Do you love me?”

So Jesus asks Peter the most important question. He asks Peter the defining question that a disciple must answer. Jesus says, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” If he loves Jesus more than anything, even his own life, then Peter will truly and rightly come to know, that is, enter fully into relationship with, Jesus. If he loves Jesus more than anything, then Peter will truly and rightly be repentant and seek forgiveness when he sins. If he loves Jesus more than anything, then Peter will truly and rightly follow and obey Jesus. Indeed, it is out of Peter’s professed loved for Jesus that Jesus then commissions him, “Feed my sheep.” The starting place for everything a disciple of Jesus is and does, is love for Jesus.

 

“Do YOU love me?”

And so, we are faced with same question. Do we love Jesus? Do you love Jesus? To love Jesus is to love God (John 5:42–43; John 8:42). And to love God is the greatest command given to man (Matthew 22:37–38). In fact, if we do not love Jesus more than anything else, then we cannot truly and rightly be his disciple (Matthew 10:37). Jesus has to be our greatest treasure. We have to love Jesus more than our own lives (Mark 8:34–35). Why? Because he is the greatest treasure, and he is life (Colossians 1:18). And Jesus comes to all of us and asks, “Do you love me?” Our answer to that question will define our lives for all eternity.

The Heart of a Disciple

[I’ve adapted this post from a sermon on Mark 4:1–20 titled “The Mystery of the Kingdom” that I preached April 2, 2023]

Jesus is the “founder of our faith” (Heb 12:2). Jesus is both the savior and the model of our faith. He made us his disciples through the cross. And as his disciples, we seek to be with and be like Jesus. We seek to bear fruit just as he did. Thus, discipleship begins at the cross, and the heart of a disciple bears much fruit. What then does the heart of a disciple, the fruit bearing heart, look like?

In Mark 4:1–20, Jesus tells the parable of a sower and four different types of soils: (1) the path, (2) the rocky soil, (2) the thorny soil, and (4) the good soil. The sower sows the word of God and the different soils represent those who hear this word (Mark 4:14–20). The condition of the soil, that is, the condition of the hearts of those who hear, ultimately determines how the word is received and if it will produce fruit. While there are four different types of soils or hearts in the parable, there are really only two categories: hearts that do not produce fruit (the path, the rocky soil, and the thorny soil) and hearts that do produce fruit (good soil). In the heart of a true disciple, the word of God bears fruit (John 15:8). But what is the makeup or nature of this fruit bearing heart? By looking at the nature and condition of the three soils or hearts that do not produce fruit and asking the question, “What would be the opposite of this?”, we can determine the nature of good soil. That is, we can discern the defining marks of the heart of a true disciple of Jesus, a heart that bears the fruit of God’s word.

 

The Path

Mark 4:4—And as he sowed, some seed fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured it.

Mark 4: 15—And these are the ones along the path, where the word is sown: when they hear, Satan immediately comes and takes away the word that is sown in them.

The picture of the trodden, hard-packed, impenetrable path is that of the hard-hearted man. He hears the word, and rather than sinking into his heart, it sits on the surface. It never breaks through. Satan easily walks along the paths of this heart and takes up the word. And as a result, there is no fruit.

 

The Heart of a Disciple

What would be the opposite of this?

The heart of a true disciple of Jesus is a soft, tender heart. This heart lowers its defenses when the word is spoken, even if the word confronts deeply held notions, ideals, and values. This heart opens itself up to the truth of the word even if the word exposes sin, selfishness, and pride. The word pierces the heart of a disciple, and the gospel of Jesus sinks in deeply. In that heart, the word of God can bear much fruit.

 

The Rocky Soil

Mark 4:5–6—Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and immediately it sprang up, since it had no depth of soil. And when the sun rose, it was scorched, and since it had no root, it withered away.

Mark 4:16–17—And these are the ones sown on rocky ground: the ones who, when they hear the word, immediately receive it with joy. And they have no root in themselves, but endure for a while; then, when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately they fall away.

The rocky ground represents those who hear the word of God and joyfully accept it. But the due to the condition and nature of this heart, the gospel doesn’t take deep root. Rather, the picture here joyful but shallow acceptance. The word is something that accessorizes this hearer’s life. It is helpful. It offers self-improvement. It’s something new and exciting. The hearer intellectually assents to it and enjoys its tight logic. But they only endure for a while. This is more literally translated “they are temporary.” Why are they and the word within them temporary? Because tribulation and persecution arises on account of what? The word. Suddenly the gospel that they enjoyed for its helpfulness is no longer helpful. It doesn’t seem to be leading to self-improvement but harm. Therefore they immediately fall away. Once the heat turns up on the hearer on account of the word whether socially, culturally, politically, etc., and they are out. Like a plant with no roots drying out under the scorching heat of the sun,  the word within this heart withers away when tribulation and persecution mount. And there is no fruit.

 

The Heart of a Disciple

What would be the opposite of this?

The heart of a true disciple of Jesus does not shallowly accept the word. For the true disciple, the word, the gospel is not simply a trinket. The heart of a disciple does not see the word as a helpful addition to their life. For the disciple the word is not a therapeutic path to self-improvement. The true disciple does not merely intellectually assent to the word. Rather, the heart of a disciple hides the word deeply within and gives ample room for it to take root. For the disciple, the word is a part of the very fabric of who they are. The heart of a disciple is bound up in union with Jesus and his gospel. Jesus and his gospel are treasured as an identity, not simply admired as a personal accessory. Thus, a true disciple endures through tribulation and persecution on account of the word because it is not just what they have, it is who they are. In that heart, the word of God can bear much fruit.

 

The Thorns

Mark 4:7— 7 Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no grain.

Mark 4:18–19—And others are the ones sown among thorns. They are those who hear the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.

The thorns are those who hear the word and accept it, only to have it choked by the world. Specifically, these receive the word, but due to three things it never bears fruit: (1) the cares of the world, (2) the deceitfulness of riches, and (3) the desires for other things.

 

The Cares of the World

In this heart, the word ultimately succumbs to the cares and anxieties of this temporary age. While all hearts battle anxiety to a degree, these anxieties enter into this heart and supplant the word. The key here is that these cares concern “the world” or “this temporary age.” This heart seeks to continually vie for and maintain control of all aspects of this age, without looking to God’s sovereignty or the coming age of eternity. This age, this world, ultimately holds sway over the affections of this heart rather than the gospel and God’s eternal kingdom. And it leads to anxieties and cares on all fronts. The cares concerning the things of this world and this earthly life strangle the gospel, and there is no fruit.

 

The Deceitfulness of Riches

How are riches deceptive? Well, the word “riches” in Scripture is telling. “Riches” in the NT refers primarily to God and the treasure he offers in Christ rather than to earthly, material wealth (Rom 2:4, 23; 11:12, 33; Eph 1:7; 2:7; 3:8, 16; Phil 4:19; Col 1:27; 2:2–3; Heb 11:26; Rev 5:12). Our earthly, material understanding of riches, then, is really a twisted, counterfeit to the real thing. Earthly riches hold out the promise of security and happiness while true security and happiness are found only in the richness of God. The thorny heart embraces the deceitfulness of earthly riches, and the result is the word is choked. And there is no fruit.

 

The Desires for Other Things

Finally, the thorns are the desires, that is, the “lusts” the “cravings” for other things. If the first two thorns don’t cover everything, this last one certainly does. It’s a catch-all. This is every Satanic, evil, fleshly, worldly passion that James 1:14–15 says gives birth not to fruit of the Spirit, but fruit of the flesh—sin! These desires and lusts override the desire for God’s word, and they choke it out. And there is no fruit.

 

The Heart of a Disciple

What is the opposite of this?

The heart of a disciple desires and embraces God’s sovereign rule over this age. Humility marks the heart of a disciple. When anxieties abound and threaten, this heart lays down it’s pride. As 1 Peter 5:6–7 instructs, disciples, “humble themselves under the mighty hand of God.” How? “By casting all their anxieties on him.” In that heart, the word of God can bear much fruit.

 The heart of a disciple desires God above worldly riches. The heart of a disciple finds the treasure of the gospel in a field and goes and sells everything to buy that field (Matt 13:44). The heart of a disciple considers reproach and rejection on account of Christ of greater wealth than all the treasure of Egypt. It is a heart that looks to the reward of God in eternity (Heb 11:26). In that heart, the word of God can bear much fruit.

 The heart of a disciple desires God above worldly riches. It desires God above worldly pleasures. The heart of a disciple seeks to “not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Gal 5:16). It is a heart that has “crucified the flesh with its passions and desire” (Gal 5:24). It’s a heart that desires nothing more than to “be with Christ” (Phil 1:23). It’s a heart that desire to be in God’s presence where there is fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore (Psalm 16:11). In that heart, the word of God can bear much fruit.

 

Conclusion

The heart of a disciple is a heart in which the word bears fruit. In that heart the word sinks deeply, hidden and guarded from the enemy, becomes an identity by establishing robust roots to endure, and is embraced, desired, and treasured above all the world has to offer. In that heart, the word bears much fruit. We can only do this because the founder of our faith did it first. As the Living Word, he cherished God’s word and was perfectly obedient to it even unto death. And like a grain of wheat that falls into the earth and dies in order to produce a harvest, Jesus in his death bore abundant fruit (John 12:24). Discipleship begins at the cross, and the heart of a disciple bears much fruit, just as Jesus did. You, Christian, are a part of Christ’s harvest. Let us then follow in the footsteps of the founder of our faith. Let us have the hearts of true disciples that holdfast to the word and bear much fruit.

Die to Self to Gain True Life

[In this Sunday’s sermon we’ll consider a key turning point in the Gospel of Mattew: Jesus tells His disciples for the first time that He will be put to death, and will rise again. He then commands His disciples similarly to take up the cross, to die to self, so that they might find true life. This devotion is taken from a sermon preached in 1999 on the parallel passage in Mark 8. Ponder and pray over our Lord’s words, and petition Him so to work on Sunday that we might follow Him wholeheartedly, and thereby become what He created us to be – Coty]

And Jesus went on with his disciples to the villages of Caesarea Philippi. And on the way he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that I am?” And they told him, “John the Baptist; and others say, Elijah; and others, one of the prophets.” And he asked them, “But who do you say that I am?” Peter answered him, “You are the Christ.” And he strictly charged them to tell no one about him.And he began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes and be killed, and after three days rise again. And he said this plainly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But turning and seeing his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” (Mark 8:27-33)

Think about what Peter and Jesus are saying here: Peter says: “Jesus is the Messiah; He can’t be killed by the Jewish leaders.” But Jesus says: “Because I am the Messiah, I must be killed by the Jewish leaders. The role of the Messiah is not what you think. The Messiah comes into the world to die.” . . .

34 And He summoned the multitude with His disciples, and said to them, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. 35 “For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s shall save it. 36 “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul? 37 “For what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? (Mark 8:34-37)

Jesus here extends that principle to all of his disciples. What is true of the master is true of the disciples also. Jesus must die in order to become what God intended; his followers must die also, they too must take up a cross, they too must lose themselves in order to become what God intends them to be.

What does Jesus mean by these expressions: “deny himself. . . take up his cross . . . lose his life for My sake and the gospel’s . . . forfeit his soul”?

Through the last two millennia these expressions have been misunderstood time and again. Some have interpreted them to mean we should inflict pain on ourselves, and thus become more righteous. Living in a culture that goes to great lengths to avoid all types of pain, our particular temptation is rather different. We are tempted to interpret this in such a way that it applies to other people, but not ourselves. We might say that this means, “You must be willing to die physically for me, rather than deny me, when your life is threatened.” So theoretically we’re all willing to make the good confession like Cassie Bernall at Columbine High; but probably none of us here this morning will ever be in that particular position. So that’s a nice, safe way to interpret the verse.

But Jesus here is saying something that affects all of us, not only those who face intense persecution. And he certainly is not telling us to inflict pain on ourselves purposefully. What is he saying?

One key to understanding this passage is to recognize (as noted in the NIV textual footnote) that the same Greek word is used for both “life” and “soul” in verses 35-37. This is the word which is more commonly translated “soul;” it is not the usual word for “life,” for life in contrast to death. Instead, this word emphasizes your individual life, your particular needs and wants, what makes you you. The difference between these two words comes out in John 10:10-11, where Jesus says:

I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly.  I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.

In verse 10, “life” is the usual word; Jesus came to make alive those who are spiritually dead. He contrasts life with death. But in verse 11, Jesus says the good shepherd lays down his life — that is, his “soul,” all that he is, his personal self, his wants and desires — he lays down all this for his sheep. That is the idea in Mark 8.

So in Mark 8:34-37 Jesus says:

“If you want to follow Me, you must first deny yourself, and take up your cross — you must die to yourself; only then can you truly follow Me. 35 “For if you want to hold on to what makes you you in this world, you shall never become what God intends you to be; but if you give up what you think makes you you for My sake and the gospel’s, you shall become what God intends you to be. 36 “For what does it profit you to gain everything the world has to offer and to actualize what you think you should be, if you then forfeit what your Creator intends you to be? For what shall you give in exchange for the very thing that truly makes you you, the essence of who you are?

Jesus himself is headed toward a physical death – and then a resurrection to a glorious new life in a new body. Just so, He tells us to die to self – so that we can become what God intends us to be, perfect in Him.