The year is 1810. You are one of the parents of four daughters; your youngest, Ann, is 21. One day in July you receive a letter from a young man you met only one month previously, asking to begin a courtship of Ann. This is to be expected; she is attractive, vivacious, intelligent, and, after all, is 21; but no parent has ever received a request for courtship quite like this one. Let me quote:

I have now to ask, whether you can consent to part with your daughter early next Spring, to see her no more in this world; whether you can consent to her departure for a heathen land, and her subjection to the hardships and sufferings of missionary life; whether you can consent to her exposure to the dangers of the ocean; to the fatal influence of the southern climate of India; to every kind of want and distress; to degradation, insult, persecution, and perhaps a violent death. Can you consent to all this, for the sake of Him who left His heavenly home and died for her and for you; for the sake of perishing, immortal souls; for the sake of Zion, and the glory of God? Can you consent to all this, in hope of soon meeting your daughter in the world of glory with a crown of righteousness, brightened by the acclamations of praise which shall redound to her Savior from the heathens saved, through her means, from eternal woe and despair?

How would you respond?

The natural response would be to say, “No way! Not my youngest! She can serve God right here! She means too much to me to let her risk her life on the other side of the world! I need her!”

In Mark 8:34-37, Jesus confronts each of us with questions similar to those raised in this letter: Where do you find life? What is the source of life? Do you find life in the accomplishments and pleasures and relationships of this world? Or are you willing to give up all of those in order to know Him, and to follow Him?

Just prior to these verses, Jesus has asked His disciples who they believe Him to be. Peter responds for all twelve: He is the Christ, the Messiah, the One promised by God to usher in His Kingdom.

But then Jesus astounds them. He tells them He, their long-promised Messiah, will be rejected by the Jewish leaders and put to death in Jerusalem. He will suffer – and then rise again.

So He has stated that He will die. He then tells His followers that they too must die:

And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul? (Mark 8:34-37)

What is true of the master is true of the disciples also. Jesus must die in order to become what God intends Him to be; His followers must die also, they too must take up a cross, they too must lose themselves in order to become what God intends them to be.

What does Jesus mean by these expressions: “deny himself. . . take up his cross . . . lose his life for My sake and the gospel’s . . . forfeit his soul”?

One key to understanding this passage is to recognize that the same Greek word is used for both “life” and “soul” in verses 35-37 (as noted in the ESV and NIV textual footnotes). This word psyche is more commonly translated “soul;” it emphasizes your individual life, your particular needs and wants – what makes you you. A different Greek word, zoe, is used for life in contrast to death.

The difference between these two words comes out in John 10:10-11, where Jesus says:

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

In verse 10, “life” is the usual word for life in contrast to death, zoe; Jesus came to make alive those who are spiritually dead. But in verse 11, Jesus says the good shepherd lays down his psyche – that is, his “soul,” all that he is, his personal self, his wants and desires – he lays down all this for his sheep.

In light of this, look again at Mark 8:34-37. Here, Jesus tells us to do what He does in John 10:11. This paraphrase attempts to bring out these truths:

If you want to follow Me, you must first deny yourself, and take up your cross – you must die to yourself. Only then can you truly follow Me. 35 For if you want to hold on to what makes you you in this world, you shall never become what God intends you to be; but if you give up what you think makes you you for My sake and the Gospel’s, you shall become what God intends you to be. 36 For what does it profit you to gain everything the world has to offer and to actualize what you think you should be, if you then forfeit what your Creator intends you to be? For what shall you give in exchange for the very thing that truly makes you you, the essence of who you are?

Jesus himself is headed toward a physical death – and then a resurrection to a glorious new life in a new body. Just so, He tells us to die to self – so that we can become what God intends us to be, perfect in Him.

Jesus asks every one of His followers this question. And so, in the letter quoted above, Adoniram Judson, the first missionary to go out from the United States, asks John Hasseltine to give up His daughter for the sake of the glory of Christ among the nations.

Mr Hasseltine did give his consent to the courtship; about 18 months later, Adoniram and Ann Hasseltine were married. Less than two weeks after the wedding, they boarded ship for the four-month journey to India and, subsequently, Burma. She knew the cost was high. That day she wrote in her journal:

My heart bleeds. O America, my native land, must I leave thee? Must I leave my parents, my sisters and brothers, my friends beloved, and all the scenes of my early youth?

In the next 15 years, Ann and Adoniram suffered hardships that are almost unimaginable to us today. They were blessed with children, but all of them died in infancy. Ann and Adoniram were separated almost as much as they were together, frequently not knowing if the other was still alive. It was during one of these lengthy separations that she became ill and died. She had not seen her husband for 3 1/2 months. Four weeks passed before news of her death reached Adoniram.

Evaluated at the time of her death, many might have said she wasted her adult life. She was instrumental in the conversion of only a handful of Burmese, and most of those had been dispersed or lost their lives during a war between Burma and England. Was it worth it?

Ann wrote this in her diary prior to her marriage: “Might I but be the means of converting a single soul, it would be worth spending all my days to accomplish.”

She had no regrets, even given what she could witness. But the impact of her willingness to die to self and live for Christ becomes much more apparent from our perspective. Without her devotion and care, Adoniram would have died during the persecution he suffered. Instead, he survived to translate the entire Bible into Burmese, and see thousands come to the Lord. His translation remains the Burmese Bible used today.

What about you? What is it that you need to die to? What treasures are you holding on to that hinder your becoming like Christ, your becoming what God intends you to be?

Are you willing to die to your sinful desires?

Are you willing to die to your desires for things which are good in and of themselves, but get in the way of your following Jesus? Money? Career? Possessions? Pleasures?

Die to self – that you might have true life. Take up your cross – to find the fulfillment that only God can provide.

(This devotion is excerpted and edited from a 1999 sermon on Mark 8, “Gaining True Life Through Losing False Life.”)