Parental rights are a key issue this election season – particularly with respect to what happens in public school classrooms. Former Virginia governor Terry McAuliffe stated in a debate last year, “I don’t think parents should be telling schools what they should teach.” He then lost the election to Glenn Youngkin by a substantial margin. Advocacy groups such as ParentalRights.org are promoting this issue at the national, state, and local levels, emphasizing locally the importance of school board elections.

There are indeed dangers to parents in our wider society. For example, some legal scholars are promoting a theory that parents’ rights are conferred by the state. One of these, Professor James Dwyer of William and Mary, says, “The reason parent-child relationships exist is because the state confers legal parenthood…. It is the state that is empowering parents to do anything with children.” Such theories are part of a larger movement (documented by Carl Trueman among others) that denigrates the family, exalts the state, and promotes the idea that we must discover who we are by looking inside ourselves.

Scripture presents a contrasting picture of the relationship between parents and children. But I would not label the Scriptural viewpoint as “parental rights.” It’s much closer to “parental responsibilities.”

Psalm 127:3 is key: “Behold, children are a gift [or “heritage”] from the LORD” (NAS). Note that there is no mention of the state in this verse! Children are created by God; they belong to God; He grants them to parents as gifts; and He entrusts parents’ with their care, their provision, their upbringing. Parents thus have the joy of playing a part in another’s story – an intensive, guiding part for 15 or 20 years, then an advisory part.

Certainly in fulfilling that role granted by God, parents have implied rights.

But the responsibilities are much clearer biblically than the rights. Consider the questions we ask parents at baby and child dedications. We never mention of rights; there is, however, a lengthy list of responsibilities found in Scripture, including:

Do you pledge as parents that, with God’s fatherly help, you will bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, making every reasonable effort, with patience and love, to build the Word of God, the character of Christ and the joy of the Lord into their lives?

God calls every parent to the task of training up children (Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4). Parents here make a commitment to help their children live lives of personal obedience. Yet personal obedience is not the goal; faith is the goal. Through learning obedience to loving parents, our children can learn the joy of obedience to a loving God; this can then be a means of grace that God uses to bring the children to faith, and that very faith will bear fruit in genuine Christian obedience.

We also ask:

Do you promise to provide, through God’s blessing, for their physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs, looking to your own heavenly Father for the wisdom, love and strength to serve them and not use them?

We as parents are tempted to use our children: As status symbols, as props for our egos, as accomplishments, as ways to succeed vicariously where we failed in our younger years. But biblically we are to provide for our children and serve them – not serving under them, but so to lead them that they grow into independent adults who by God’s grace love Jesus Christ, put Him first, and serve productively in society.

Now, if parents have the responsibility to train their children and to provide for the intellectual needs, they clearly are responsible for their children’s education. They are responsible for deciding how their children can be best educated. Some before God will choose to educate them at home; others will think it best to delegate part of their children’s education to a private or public school. But whatever the choice, the parents are responsible. God has entrusted them with their child. They must arrange for that child to be well-educated, intellectually, spiritually, and socially. To the extent that they delegate part of that responsibility to others, they must know what is being taught, how it Is being taught, and then in the home correct or combat any falsehoods or half-truths propagated in the school. Parents as a group, therefore, can and should influence what is taught in schools.

Now, the state does have a role in the lives of children. Most clearly the state has a responsibility to protect all citizens from law-breakers – and that includes protecting children from parents who clearly abuse or harm their children. The state also has a civic interest in seeing that children receive sufficient education to be good citizens. But the family precedes the state. Furthermore, as G.K. Chesterton wrote, the family is the “only state that creates and loves its citizens.” The governing state should rightly defer to parents on education and childrearing in general, acknowledging that the great majority of parents will do a better job of raising their children than any state institution. Laws for dealing with the exceptional cases of child abuse should not be extended to cases in which parents simply have chosen to raise children in a way contrary to the state’s preferred way.

When the Pinckney children were young, we had an interesting annual interchange in this regard with our local school superintendent in Massachusetts. As homeschoolers, we were required by state law to ask for approval from our superintendent. But before God, Beth and I did not believe the superintendent had the right or responsibility to judge whether or not we were fit to school our children. At the same time, we wanted to have a cooperative relationship with the schools in town and were quite willing to listen to any advice or counsel they might give. So, every year, we wrote a letter informing our superintendent of our decision to homeschool, asking if they had any counsel, but explicitly not asking for approval. And then a few weeks later, we received a return letter approving our homeschool. In this way, everyone was kept happy.

So, parents: Rejoice in the responsibility God has given you to raise your children. Take it seriously, with all its trials and pressures. In a few short years this season of your life will end, and you’ll feel as Beth and I did when our youngest left home: “Like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart – your abdomen is open and someone is cutting away at your guts.”

I encourage all of you – vote wisely this week, especially taking into account candidates’ views on education and parental rights.

But may we as a church stand alongside one another and assist one another in raising these precious children to know “the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit,” to His great glory and praise (2 Corinthians 13:14).