God Delights to Redeem His People

“Praise our triune God, who delights to redeem us!” That was our service theme last Sunday. Through Jacob’s sermon and our reading of Ruth chapter 3, we saw Boaz’s delight in serving as Ruth’s redeemer – and subsequently recognized the picture of God’s delight in redeeming His people.

We face constant temptations to think differently about God. When we sin, when we fail, when we neglect prayer or Bible reading, we often feel as if God is annoyed with us, frustrated with us, ready to have nothing more to do with us.

But our God is the happy God. Whatever He pleases, He does (Psalm 135:6). He overflows with joy within the Trinity.

God is pleased to spread His joy by redeeming a people for His own possession, who will receive and then display and proclaim His love and mercy, His grace and truth (1 Peter 2:9-10). We His people become His intimate family, sharing in His joy (Psalm 16:11, Matthew 25:21, 1 Peter 1:8-9).

But we all are sinful, are fallen, while God is holy; He is “light and in Him is no darkness at all” (1 John 1:5). He thus is the God of perfect justice; every sin must be paid for. So if we are to be in His family, there must be a payment for our sins – the redemption price.

So Jesus provides that payment. Indeed, through the sorrow and pain of the cross, Jesus knew the “joy set before Him” (Hebrews 12:2), the joy of redeeming God’s people for His glory.

Thus, our redemption is God’s work from beginning to end. He delights to accomplish that redemption. He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust, that we are fallen (Psalm 103:14). And so through the Gospel He provides a way for us, sinful as we are, to be His delight. We become like Him in hating sin – we must be holy, for He is holy (Leviticus 11:45). Yet when we commit sin, we come to Him in confession and repentance, relying on Jesus’ sacrifice, knowing that in Him the Father accepts us completely (1 John 1:9-2:2, Romans 8:1).

Reflect on these great truths. Meditate on the God who delights to redeem His people. And – whatever you do, however you fail – know that God delights to redeem you for Himself.

To help you in those reflections and meditations, here are additional Scriptures on this theme. (Unless otherwise indicated, all Scriptures are ESV. Emphasis added.)

  • Micah 7:18-20 Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love. 19 He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. 20 You will show faithfulness to Jacob and steadfast love to Abraham, as you have sworn to our fathers from the days of old.
  • Jeremiah 32:37-41 Behold, I will gather them from all the countries to which I drove them in my anger and my wrath and in great indignation. I will bring them back to this place, and I will make them dwell in safety. 38 And they shall be my people, and I will be their God. 39 I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them. 40 I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. 41 I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul.
  • Psalm 35:27 Let those who delight in my righteousness shout for joy and be glad and say evermore, “Great is the LORD, who delights in the welfare [shalom] of his servant!”
  • Psalm 147:10-11 His delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor his pleasure in the legs of a man, 11 but the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.
  • Psalm 149:4 For the LORD takes pleasure in his people; he adorns the humble with salvation.
  • Isaiah 43:25 “I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.”
  • Isaiah 1:18 “Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.”
  • Psalm 103:13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
  • Psalm 130:7-8 O Israel, hope in the LORD! For with the LORD there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption. And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities.  (NET 7b-8: [He] is more than willing to deliver. 8 He will deliver Israel from all the consequences of their sins.)
  • Ephesians 2:4-7 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ– by grace you have been saved– 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
  • Mark 1:40-42 NET Now a leper came to [Jesus] and fell to his knees, asking for help. “If you are willing, you can make me clean,” he said. 41 Moved with compassion, Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I am willing. Be clean!” 42 The leprosy left him at once, and he was clean.

So join the leper in saying to Jesus, “If you are willing, you can make me clean!” He will gladly say to you: “I am willing! Be clean! Welcome to my intimate family!”

The Efficacy of Prayer in Ruth

Have you ever noticed the prayers that the different characters pray in the book of Ruth? In their book, Unceasing Kindness: A Biblical Theology of Ruth, Peter H.W. Lau and Gregory Goswell point us to John Berquist, who highlights “the efficacy of the many prayers in the book of Ruth.”[1] Specifically, they identify the prayers in Ruth 2:11–12, 2:20; 3:10, 4:11–12, and 4:14–15. They helpfully point out that these prayers help us see that God is providentially working in the background of Ruth’s narrative to bring about his desired end.[2]

Let’s draw from Lau and Goswell while looking at these prayers to see how God answers them.

 

The Prayers in Ruth

Naomi prays in Ruth 1:8–9 that God would show kindness and grant rest to her daughters-in-law:

But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go, return each of you to her mother’s house. May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. The Lord grant that you may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband!” Then she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept.

 

In Ruth 2:12, we see Boaz pray that God would reward Ruth for sticking by Naomi and seeking refuge in the Lord:

“The Lord repay you for what you have done, and a full reward be given you by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!”

 

Naomi prays a blessing over Boaz for having regard for Ruth and for being a means of the Lord’s kindness in Ruth 2:19–20:

And her mother-in-law said to her, “Where did you glean today? And where have you worked? Blessed be the man who took notice of you.” So she told her mother-in-law with whom she had worked and said, “The man’s name with whom I worked today is Boaz.” And Naomi said to her daughter-in-law, “May he be blessed by the Lord, whose kindness has not forsaken the living or the dead!” Naomi also said to her, “The man is a close relative of ours, one of our redeemers.”

 

Boaz prays another blessing over Ruth, once again, for seeking redemption through him, a kinsman redeemer in Ruth 3:10

And he said, “May you be blessed by the Lord, my daughter. You have made this last kindness greater than the first in that you have not gone after young men, whether poor or rich.”

 

The elders and people at the gates of Bethlehem pray in Ruth 4:11–12 that the Lord would bless Ruth in marriage to Boaz with offspring, offspring that would lead to building up the house of Israel, and that Boaz would be renowned.

Then all the people who were at the gate and the elders said, “We are witnesses. May the Lord make the woman, who is coming into your house, like Rachel and Leah, who together built up the house of Israel. May you act worthily in Ephrathah and be renowned in Bethlehem,  and may your house be like the house of Perez, whom Tamar bore to Judah, because of the offspring that the Lord will give you by this young woman.”

 

And finally, the town’s women bless the Lord for what he has done for Naomi, praying that her grandson, Obed, would lead to her complete restoration and redemption in Ruth 4:14–15.

Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a redeemer, and may his name be renowned in Israel! He shall be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age, for your daughter-in-law who loves you, who is more to you than seven sons, has given birth to him.”

 

Prayers Answered

So here we have six prayers. And by the time the book of Ruth comes to a close, we see either explicitly or implicitly that God sovereignly answered each and every one of them. What is noteworthy is how God answers them.

First, after having prayed for the Lord to show kindness and grant rest for Ruth (1:8–9), we see Naomi initiate and orchestrate this very thing. Naomi first recognizes that in Boaz, a kinsman redeemer, God has provided a means of his kindness (Ruth 2:20). Therefore, she seeks rest for Ruth in that kindness by having her go to Boaz and request that he redeem her (Ruth 3:1–5). And, Boaz does. He marries Ruth, and Ruth experiences the kindness and rest of the Lord.

Second, after having prayed that the Lord would bless Ruth for seeking refuge under the wings of the Lord (Ruth 2:12), Boaz as a kinsman redeemer becomes the manifest wings of the Lord under whom Ruth takes refuge (Ruth 3:9).

Third, after praying that the Lord would bless Boaz who took notice of Ruth (Ruth 2:19–20), Naomi formulates a plan by which Ruth works a great kindness to not only her but the elder Boaz as well, who gets to marry the young, worthy Ruth and have children (Ruth 3:10; 4:13).

Fourth, after having prayed that Ruth would be blessed for her selfless kindness (Ruth 3:10), Boaz, once again as a redeemer, becomes a blessing for Ruth by redeeming her in marriage and providing children for her (Ruth 4:13).

Fifth, after all the people at the gates of the town pray for Ruth’s fertility and offspring to build up the house of Israel and the renown of Boaz (4:11–12), we see that through their marriage, Boaz and Ruth do produce offspring. And their offspring leads to the eventual birth of King David. And, the Lord ultimately covenants with David to build a house through him and to establish an everlasting kingdom over which David’s son will reign (Ruth 4:17–22; 2 Samuel 7:11–16). And, David, of course, give rise to Jesus the Messiah. Through Boaz’s offspring, then, an eternal house is built, and Boaz is ever remembered and renowned as not only the ancestor of King David but of the Messiah.

Sixth, after the women pray that Obed would become renown and that he would be a restorer of life for Naomi (Ruth 4:14–15), Obed goes on to become the grandfather of King David from whom the Messiah, Jesus, the one who restores all life, would come.

 

Lesson Learned

What’s the payoff here? Well, what we see is that in the story of Ruth, God delighted to use his people as a means to answer prayers and carry out his sovereign plans. And in Ruth, God often delighted to use the active faith of his people as a means to grant even their own prayer requests. We should be joyfully aware, then, that when we pray for God to advance his kingdom and his gospel, or when we pray for a co-worker, friend, or family member to come to know Christ, or when we pray that a suffering person would feel the comfort of God, the way God often delights to answer these prayers is through his Holy Spirit empowered people. He might even tap you to be the conduit of his grace, kindness, and blessing that answers the very prayer you were praying. Thus, we should pray with an expectation that God will not only work through our prayers, but that he will work through us to perhaps bring about some of the very things we pray. God delights to use the prayers of his people and their faithful actions as a means to carry out his sovereign plans.

 

Conclusion

We should recognize that our faithful praying and our faithful actions are not divorced from the sovereignty of God. Rather, the reality of God’s sovereignty and his delight to use his people as a means to advance his kingdom should bolster our prayer life and bolster our works of faith. Indeed, God has given us the Holy Spirit for this very reason, to carry on the work of Jesus through us. So let’s take our cues from the book of Ruth. Our prayers are effective, and this is by divine design. We should be a people of great faith who recognize that God delights to use us and our prayers for the advance of his glory.

 

[1] Peter H.W. Lau and Gregory Goswell, Unceasing Kindness: A Biblical Theology of Ruth, NSBT, ed. D. A. Carson (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2016), 15. FN Cf. Berquist 2008: 55.

[2] Lau and Goswell, Unceasing Kindness, 104. Here, Lau and Goswell point us to Gow (2000:176)—M.D. Gow, ‘Ruth’ in New Dictionary of Biblical Theology, eds T.D. Alexander and B.S. Rosner (Leicester: Inter-Varsity Press, 2000), 176–78.

Ruth’s Faith

[I’ve adapted this devotional from a portion of my sermon that I will preach this Sunday, May 12, 2024, as an encouraging foretaste of what is to come.]

 

At DGCC, we have just begun a sermon series focused on the book of Ruth. When we engage the OT, it is vital for us, the new covenant people of God, to recognize that the OT was written for us (Romans 15:4; 1 Corinthians 10:1–11; 2 Timothy 3:16; Hebrews 4:12). So when we see characters in the OT, we should see them in two ways: as examples for us to emulate or not emulate and as pointers to Jesus, who fulfills all the OT. Well, in this short book of Ruth, we get to know two great historical figures that we cannot help but love in Ruth and Boaz. And when we look at Ruth, we see a person of great faith that we would do well to imitate. Let’s consider her faith.

 

The Starting Place and Context of Ruth’s Faith

The starting place of Ruth’s faith is this: she seeks refuge in the Lord, Yahweh (Ruth 1:16; 2:12). Ruth was not of Yahweh’s people. In fact, she was a Moabite, a people who, according to Scripture, were perpetually cursed (Deuteronomy 23:3). However, Ruth in faith forsook her people, forsook her mother and father, forsook her gods, and sought refuge in Yahweh (Ruth 1:15; 2:11–12). Here, Ruth is a great example of faith for us. The starting place for authentic faith is seeking refuge in Yahweh. And as we will see from Ruth, it is in this context—refuge in Yahweh—that we actively exercise our faith in him.

 

Ruth’s Active Faith

It doesn’t take long in the narrative for Ruth to begin to actively exercise her faith in Yahweh, which we see in Ruth 2:2—

And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, “Let me go to the field and glean among the ears of grain after him in whose sight I shall find favor.” And she said to her, “Go, my daughter.”

Let’s make some observations about Ruth’s faith here…

 

Ruth’s Faith Initiates

Ruth’s faith initiates action. Here in verse 2, we first see Ruth’s faith initiates going to glean. We say, how is this an example of Ruth exercising faith in Yahweh? Well, because Yahweh built this provision into his law.

In both Leviticus 19:9–10 and Leviticus 23:22 we read this: 

Leviticus 19:9–10—“When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap your field right up to its edge, neither shall you gather the gleanings after your harvest. And you shall not strip your vineyard bare, neither shall you gather the fallen grapes of your vineyard. You shall leave them for the poor and for the sojourner: I am the Lord your God.”

And

Leviticus 23:22—“And when you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap your field right up to its edge, nor shall you gather the gleanings after your harvest. You shall leave them for the poor and for the sojourner: I am the Lord your God.”

God has built into his law a means by which the poor—often widows—and sojourners from other nations (à la Ruth the Moabite who has sought refuge in Yahweh) would be able to have food to survive. And Ruth in faith intends to take advantage of this provision. Why? Because Ruth’s faith to glean banks on something. This leads to our second observation of Ruth’s faith.

 

Ruth’s Faith Banks on Yahweh

Ruth’s faith banks on Yahweh and his word. The reason Ruth exercises faith to glean is because her faith rests on Yahweh in whom she has sought refuge. It rests on his character, his promises, and his ability to deliver on those promises. Yahweh has made a provision in his Law (Lev 19:9–10; 23:22), and Ruth’s faith to find refuge in Yahweh now says, “Okay, I have sought refuge in you. Now let me put my faith in you to work because of who you are and what you have said in your Word. Ruth’s faith banks on Yahweh and his word. Because Ruth banks her faith on Yahweh, her faith also takes on another characteristic.

 

Ruth’s Faith Is Bold

Ruth’s faith is bold. How do we come to this conclusion. Well, for one, Ruth is a woman. And for two, she is a Moabite. Both factors work against her in this context. Indeed, we will see Boaz feel the need to command his young men not to touch her, reproach her, or rebuke her (Ruth 2:9, 15–16). And Naomi confirms later that the danger of assault exists (Ruth 2:22). But Ruth, with faith banking on Yahweh, despite inevitable prejudice and inherent risk based on the fact that she is a Moabite woman, boldly goes to glean anyway. This is because Ruth in faith expects something.

 

Ruth’s Faith Looks For and Expects Yahweh’s Grace

Ruth’s faith looks for and expects Yahweh’s grace. You say, “Where do you see grace here.” Look at what Ruth says again in verse 2. She says she will glean “after him in whose sight I shall find favor.” The word for favor in verse 2 is the same Hebrew word for grace. When God gives unmerited grace, we experience it as favor. Ruth’s faith hopes for and anticipates that she will find Yahweh’s grace coming through the farmer or owner of the field she ends up working behind.

 

Ruth’s Faith, an Example for Us

In sum, Ruth’s faith to first seek refuge in Yahweh is, in that context of refuge, an active faith that (1) initiates, (2) banks on Yahweh, (3) is bold, and (4) looks for and expects Yahweh’s grace. Ruth is an example of faith for us. Our faith should move us to always be seeking refuge in Yahweh, and it should be an active faith that initiates action, rests completely on Yahweh and his Word, is bold and risk-taking for his glory, and looks for him to give grace upon grace.

 

Conclusion

As the story goes, Ruth’s active faith ends up being rewarded. Yahweh gives her grace upon grace through her redeemer, Boaz, who prefigures Jesus. Thus, we, with full knowledge and assurance of God’s grace—which is his kindness to redeem us through Jesus—should have an active faith that matches and even surpasses Ruth. Thank God for giving us Ruth as an example to us. But thank God even more for Jesus our redeemer who ensures that our active faith is not in vain.

Reading Ruth Backwards

A Multi-Layered Story of Love That We Love

This Sunday we will begin a new sermon series in the book of Ruth. This is understandably one of the most loved books of the Old Testament simply given its content. It’s a very personal story about a widow, Naomi, and her daughter-in-law, Ruth, who through their resourcefulness, initiative, and faith, lean into the promises of Yahweh to redeem and reward his people, which he does in this case through Boaz. We love it because it is a multi-layered love story. It highlights the love between a widowed daughter-in-law and widowed mother-in-law who care for and provide for one another even at great risk to themselves. It highlights the love of a man for a woman, a woman whom the man is willing to risk his economic stability for in order to love her and do right by her and his kin. And, it highlights God’s love for Naomi and Ruth, whom he ultimately redeems and rewards. But we also love it because it fits into the bigger scheme of God’s redemptive narrative.

One grammatical feature stands out from the very beginning of the book of Ruth. The very first word in Ruth is the Hebrew conjunction that we render, “And.” So a literal translation for the first words in Ruth could be “And it was…”. This seems odd. We don’t usually start sentences, let alone entire books with a conjunction because they are meant to connect what follows with what precedes. This suggests, then, that the book of Ruth connects to something preceding it. What is going on? Well, the author of Ruth aims to make abundantly clear that this very personal and intimate narrative fits into the greater scheme of the canon of Scripture. Ruth is meant to be read in light of the whole of God’s grand redemptive narrative. This becomes even more evident when we start considering the book of Ruth by first reading it backwards. Or, rather, reading the end first. To fully appreciate the book of Ruth in all of its beauty and to apply the wisdom therein, we must understand the narrative in light of its ending.

 

Begin at the End

This is how the book of Ruth ends:

 

And the women of the neighborhood gave him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi.” They named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David. Now these are the generations of Perez: Perez fathered Hezron, Hezron fathered Ram, Ram fathered Amminadab, Amminadab fathered Nahshon, Nahshon fathered Salmon, Salmon fathered Boaz, Boaz fathered Obed, Obed fathered Jesse, and Jesse fathered David (Ruth 4:17–22).

 

The book of Ruth ends by highlighting David. Thus, the ending of Ruth makes clear that through Ruth and Boaz, God preserved the line of king David. And in preserving the line of king David, God ultimately preserved the line of the the promised offspring, who would be the Messiah, Jesus. To make himself clear on both counts, the narrator repeats himself. First he notes the words of Naomi’s neighbors that say Obed was the grandfather of David (Ruth 4:17). Then the narrator offers a genealogy using the formula, “these are the generations of…” (4:18–22) which echoes genealogies elsewhere in the OT that highlight God’s covenant faithfulness to preserve the line of his promised offspring of the woman in Genesis 3:15 (Gen 5:1; 10:1; 11:10; 11:27; 25:19; 37:2). To fully appreciate the book of Ruth in all of its beauty, we must understand the narrative in light of this end. We must read Ruth backward, starting with the end, then go to the beginning. Indeed, this is how the original audience reading Ruth or hearing Ruth read to them would have interpreted the story.

For the original audience and/or those readers of Ruth in the post-exilic and intertestimental period—those who either experienced firsthand or heard and read about David’s glorious reign—the first few sentences in Ruth would create massive tension:

 

In the days when the judges ruled there was a famine in the land, and a man of Bethlehem in Judah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons. The name of the man was Elimelech and the name of his wife Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in Judah. They went into the country of Moab and remained there. But Elimelech, the husband of Naomi, died, and she was left with her two sons. These took Moabite wives; the name of the one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. They lived there about ten years, and both Mahlon and Chilion died, so that the woman was left without her two sons and her husband (Ruth 1:1–5).

 

Elimelech. Naomi. Ephrathites. Bethlehem. Judah. Ruth. Elimelech dead. Ruth’s husband dead. The ancient, OT-informed reader or hearer of this would immediately know that the line of king David was hanging in the balance. Just as we should read this and immediately know that not only was the line of king David in jeopardy, but the line of the Messiah was in jeopardy. As one reads the story then, one sees that through the very real, practical, innovative, yet covenantally informed faith of normal people (Naomi, Ruth, and Boaz), God worked to preserve the line of David and to preserve the line of Jesus. The riveting story of Naomi, Ruth, and Boaz’s mutual love and kindness toward one another becomes even more riveting when understood as culminating in God’s redemption of not only Naomi and Ruth, but of humanity.

 

A Glorious Principle

Besides just being a glorious story that points us to Jesus, there is a principle in Ruth for us to draw out. God uses means to carry out his covenant promises. And one of the primary means God uses is his faithful people. Through the man Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the exemplar of our faith, God fulfilled all of promises. And now, through Jesus working in his faithful people, the church, by the Holy Spirit, God continues to fulfill his promises.

 

Conclusion

Paul’s prayer in 2 Thessalonians 1:11–12 seems apt here. There Paul prays this:

 

To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

 

Paul prays that every resolve for good birthed in the heart of his people and every work of faith that springs forth from those resolves would be fulfilled for a glorious purpose: that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in us and us in him. Our practical, creative faith in action right now proves to be a means by which God continues to work to glorify the name of Jesus in us so that we may be glorified in him. Just as God used the faith of very real people in the book of Ruth to preserve the line of David and ultimately Jesus, God continues to use the faith of his very real people today. Today he works through his people to carry out his plan of redemption through the spreading of the church. Therefore, let us take our cues from the book of Ruth and Paul’s prayer and continue to work by faith knowing that God is glorifying Jesus through us for our ultimate joy in him.

Love, Suffering, Obedience – and Resurrection

What is love?

There are a thousand answers to that question, since we use the word “love” in so many different ways. So let’s narrow the question down:

What is God’s love? And what does it look like when we love with God’s love?

In a recent book – A Loving Life: In a World of Broken Relationships – Paul Miller argues that this type of love is a one-way covenant; we step out in love without needing or even expecting a response. This makes us vulnerable, and often leads to suffering. We rightly cry out in lament over such suffering. But faith holds on to God’s covenant love in the midst of suffering, so that we continue to walk in obedience – we continue to love. In this we are following the path of Jesus’ life – love, suffering, death. But Jesus rose from the dead. And as God raised Jesus, He similarly will bring about a form of resurrection in us.

Miller masterfully brings out these truths from the book of Ruth, following Naomi, Ruth, and Boaz through their journeys of love, suffering, lament, obedience, and resurrection. Consider these selections – and may we follow the path of love.

Love and Covenant

[We learn through the storyline of Scripture that God’s love is a one-sided covenant, His determination to do good to His people, to redeem them, to make them His, despite their rebellion and disobedience. Thus, God’s love is also covenantal. Our love, if it is to be like God’s, must also be covenantal. The Hebrew word most often used of God’s love for His people is hesed. Paul Miller sometimes uses this word as an adjective to clarify that he is referring to that type of love.]

[There is a] modern myth that says, “Love is a feeling. If the feeling is gone, then love is gone.” Hollywood has no resources to endure in love when the feeling is gone. Actually, that’s the point when we are ready to learn how to love. 285

Ruth walks into the city ignored and, in effect, alone. One of the hardest parts of a hesed love is that you can love others, but there may be no one to love you. The very act of loving can make you lonely. . . .

But that loneliness, that dying, instead of being the end of you, can display Jesus’s beauty in you. The moment when you think everything has gone wrong is exactly the moment when the beauty of God is shining through you. True glory is almost always hidden—when you are enduring quietly with no cheering crowd. 809

The question is not “How do I feel about this relationship?” but “Have I been faithful to my word, to the covenants I am in?” As Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount, “If you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?” (Matt. 5:46). In other words, if I love only when I feel like it, then I’ve really not understood love. 923

[After Ruth goes to Boaz’s field:] If you are bent on pursuing personal freedom, you remain frozen hunting for the perfect field, the perfect person. You never land. You have to commit to make love work. We don’t love in general. We love someone, somewhere. Setting our affections on someone always means narrowing down. Election and love are inseparable. This goes against the spirit of our age, which prizes independence and perfection. . . . Often our difficulties with love are simply that we react to the constriction that accompanies love. But that constriction is inherent in love. To love is to limit. . . .

Ironically, the experience of love, of narrowing your life, broadens and deepens your life. The narrower your life, the broader your soul. . . . Love always involves a narrowing of the life, a selecting of imperfection. 1072

Life is a path or pilgrimage. It is lived not in isolated moments, but in trajectories of reaping and sowing. Everything we do now creates the person we are becoming. We do not live in an impersonal, rigid world in which obedience mechanically dispenses reward; we live in our Father’s world, a richly textured world organized around invisible bonds that knit us together. All of life is covenant. 1319

[Consider covenant as a kind of limitation:] Repentance often drives the journey of love. It moves the story forward. Because Naomi returned home, God’s grace will be unleashed in her life. Repentance involves a returning to the box, to the world of limits, that my Father has given me. I stop creating my own story and submit to the story that God is weaving. . . .

Life is like a beautiful garden with a tree whose fruit I can’t touch. That “no” defines and shapes my life in the garden. So my relationship with my wife is like a wonderful garden with a solitary “no”: I cannot touch or develop emotional intimacy with another woman. That “no” narrows and limits my life. It provides a frame for my love to Jill. I am keenly aware that I can destroy a forty-year marriage in five minutes. That limiting, instead of boxing us in, lets the story come alive. 852

Love and Suffering

Suffering is the crucible for love. We don’t learn how to love anywhere else. Don’t misunderstand; suffering doesn’t create love, but it is a hothouse where love can emerge. Why is that? The great barrier to love is ego, the life of the self. In long-term suffering, if you don’t give in to self-pity, slowly, almost imperceptibly, self dies. This death of self offers ideal growing conditions for love. 221

Self-pity, [that is,] compassion turned inward, drives this downward spiral. Instead of reflecting on the wounds of Christ, I nurse my own wounds. Self-as-victim is the great narrative of our age. . . . Enshrining the victim is so seductive because you have been hurt. But self-pity is just another form of self-righteousness, and like all self-righteousness it isolates and elevates. It elevates you because it says you are better than the other person; you are the victim. It isolates you because you live in and are nourished by your interior world, which can’t be criticized. 1677

Suffering and Lament

[We often do our best to hide our suffering. Indeed, sometimes we confuse laments over suffering with lack of faith. But Paul Miller argues that Scripture is full of laments, and that lamentation is a necessary step on the path to hesed love.]

A lament puts us in an openly dependent position, where our brokenness reflects the brokenness of the world. It’s pure authenticity. Holding it in, not giving voice to the lament, can be a way of putting a good face on it. But to not lament puts God at arm’s length and has the potential of splitting us. We appear okay, but we are really brokenhearted. (emphasis added) 693

Listening to a lament is a powerful way of loving someone who is suffering. By being present, by not correcting or even offering our own unique brand of Christian encouragement (“It’s going to be all right – God’s in control”), we give those who are grieving space to be themselves.

This doesn’t mean that Naomi’s judgment of God is correct. God is good and just. He will answer her frustration with more goodness. Naomi was interpreting God through the lens of her experience.

She stopped in the middle of the story and measured God. A deeper faith waits until the end of the story and interprets experience through the lens of God’s faithfulness. Is this something we tell Naomi? No. It is what we tell ourselves. Good theology lets us endure quietly with someone else’s pain when all the pieces aren’t together. It acts like invisible faith-glue. 706

The opposite danger of not lamenting is over-lamenting. Dwelling on a lament is the breeding ground for bitterness. Bitterness is a wound nursed. Our culture’s emphasis on the sacredness of feelings often gives people an unspoken theology of bitterness. They feel entitled to it.727

Faith, Love and Obedience

[Difficult situations compel us to conclude:] You simply do not have the power or wisdom or ability in yourself to love. You know without a shadow of a doubt that you can’t love. That is the beginning of faith—knowing you can’t love. Faith is the power for love. 617

Unlike the Israelites who wanted to return to Egypt, Naomi is obeying, doing the right thing by returning to the Promised Land. Her feelings were all over the place, but she put one foot in front of the other as she returned. We can summarize her response this way:

Bitterness openly expressed to God + obedience  => a raw, pure form of faith

Bitterness openly expressed + disobedience => rebellion

Through a sheer act of will, Naomi continues to show up for life. In C.S. Lewis’s Screwtape Letters, the senior devil, Screwtape, warns his junior devil of the danger of this obedience.

Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause [the Devil’s cause] is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending to do our Enemy’s will [God’s will], looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys. 747

Ruth’s act of loving put her at the bottom of society, but she doesn’t push back on her lowered status. She accepts the cost of love. Like Jesus, she takes the lower place. Love and humility are inseparable.

When serving is combined with humility, the serving becomes almost pleasurable. You are thankful for any gift given you. In contrast, pride can’t bear the weight of unequal love. . . . ride makes others’ joy, or even the possibility of our own joy, feel phony. It is an odd sort of authenticity where we demand that others be as depressed as we are. 1393

Jealousy is extraordinarily deceptive. It is by far the most destructive sin in communities and organizations that I’ve been a part of, and yet, I seldom hear it mentioned or confessed. It always masks itself as something else, creating a hidden chain of slander that drags someone down. A multiheaded hydra, it begins with an inability to rejoice with another’s success, leaks out as gossip, and finally erupts as slander. Jealousy seeks to gain by destroying others, while hesed  [love] loses by giving itself. One is the heart of evil. The other is pure gospel.  1494

Many Christians get stuck trying to grow their faith by growing their faith. They try to get closer to Jesus by getting closer to Jesus. Practically, that means they combine spiritual disciplines (the Word and prayer) with reflection on the love of God for them. But that will only get you so far. In fact it often leads to spiritual moodiness where you are constantly taking your pulse wondering how much you know the love of God for you. Or you go on an endless idol hunt trying to uncover ever deeper layers of sin. Oddly enough, this can lead to a concentration on the self, a kind of spiritual narcissism. Ruth discovers God and his blessing as she obeys, as she submits to the life circumstances that God has given her. So instead of running from the really hard thing in your life, embrace it as a gift from God to draw you into his life. 2095

Obedience and Resurrection

[Miller discusses how the life of loving obedience often follows the shape of a J-curve: Our love and obedience leads to suffering, and so our life seems to get worse. But God brings about the upward slope of the “J” – in ways that we cannot know ahead of time, following trajectories that we never expected.]

[God teaches] us to love by overloading our systems so we are forced to cry for grace. God permits our lives to become overwhelming, putting us on the downward slope of the J-curve so we come to the end of ourselves. I encouraged my friend to embrace the downward path, not to push against it or worry about where his feelings were with his wife. Jesus said, “The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. . . . No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord” (John 10:11, 18). Seeing the gospel as a journey remaps our stories by embedding them in the larger story of Jesus’s death and resurrection. His normal becomes our normal. 1004

Here’s what I have learned going through the J-curve:
1. We don’t know how or when resurrection will come. It is God’s work, not ours.
2. We don’t even know what a resurrection will look like. We can’t demand the shape or timing of a resurrection.
3. Like Jesus, we must embrace the death that the Father has put in front of us. The path to resurrection is through dying, not fighting.
4. If we endure, resurrection always comes. God is alive! 1021

We can do death. But we can’t do resurrection. We can’t demand resurrection—we wait for it. 1032

 May we love, suffer, lament, believe, obey – and see resurrection!

[Paul Miller, A Loving Life: In a World of Broken Relationships (Crossway, 2014). Numbers after the quotations are Kindle locations.]