Listen carefully to what our Lord Jesus says:

Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 10:37-39)

That is: If we love anyone in our family more than we love Jesus, we are dishonoring Him; we are therefore not worthy of Him. If we do not deny to ourselves whatever prevents us from following Him closely, we are dishonoring Him by implying that these activities or people or pleasures are more important, more vital for us than He is; we are therefore not worthy of Him. Indeed, Jesus goes on to say that to succeed in everything we put our mind to in this life, but to lose Him, is to lose everything, to lose the only true life, and thus to fail at what is most important; but to give up whatever is necessary to follow Him – even what we think is the way to success, to joy, to fulfillment – is to find true life, what is most fulfilling and joyful.

Note first: If Jesus said these words and was not Immanuel, God with us, God in the flesh, He was not a great teacher or even an admirable man; these are the sort of words that cult leaders say to their followers. But if He was who He claimed to be, then these words point us to our greatest joy, our greatest good.

Second: Think of what Jesus is saying about family, and about all other good things in this life:

• Family is a great gift. We are to honor our fathers and mothers (Exodus 20:12). We are to rejoice in our children, seeing them as gifts from God (Psalm 127:3-4).
• Fulfillment in life is a great gift (John 10:7-10).
• Accomplishment is a great gift (Proverbs 3:5-6).
• Riches and honor and health are all gifts (1 Chronicles 29:12).
• The ability to work hard is a great gift (Deuteronomy 8:18).

So if all of these come from God, what is the problem with loving them?

The problem is seeing them as something other than what they are, gifts. We don’t earn them. We don’t deserve them. We don’t create them. They are granted to us by a gracious God “who makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matthew 5:45). And He grants them to us – to all humanity – only because of Jesus.

Why only because of Jesus? Because God would have been perfectly righteous to have ended the human race with the first disobedience of Adam and Eve (Genesis 2:17). There would have been no more grace, no more gifts to men. But because He planned to crush the head of the serpent via Jesus, the descendant of the woman (Genesis 3:17), because He planned to send forth His Son in the fullness of time for the redemption and adoption of His people (Galatians 4:4-5), and because the redemption through Jesus would redound to the praise of His glorious grace (Ephesians 1:3-14), He spared them, instituted His Great Plan, and for millennia has granted undeserved gifts to all of mankind. Apart from Jesus, therefore, we have none of these gifts.

But Jesus is not only the source of all these good gifts, the reason we have any good – He Himself is far and away the greatest good.

Thus, while family is a great gift, Jesus is both the Brother par excellence (Romans 8:29) and the true Husband that every good marriage points to (Ephesians 5:25-32). While accomplishment and honor are great gifts, Jesus defines the greatest accomplishment and grants the only honor worth having (2 Timothy 4:6-8).

So, when we see Jesus for Who He is, we find that in Him we have unspeakable joy (1 Peter 1:8) – joy that is found nowhere else. Therefore, thank Him continually for His gifts – and gladly give them all up if that’s necessary to follow close to Him.